127a Church Street: Diary of a self-build

Polish stairs NOT a scam

2011-09-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

Had a phone call from a very nice, but slightly disgruntled Polish man who said that an earlier blog post entitled 'Polish Stairs Scam?' was damaging his business as he sold Polish stairs and, apparently, when you Googled that phrase my post came out somewhere near the top of the tree.

My first thought was that I'm really not that good at search engine optimisation, but it might have to go on my CV now.

My second was that I couldn't see why it would damage business (except that he wasn't from the company we used) as both quality and product from the Polish stair company we used was excellent (apart from a small issue of cutting an ugly hole in the wall to make it fit rather than cutting the plasterboard to size, but that may reflect as much on my project management skills). And I said so on the blog.

But apparently people were reading the post and not the rest of the blog and concluding that there was a scam going on. And he wants me to clarify that there isn't. There isn't. So there.

So if you're reading this having Googled 'Polish stairs' then please read the blog in its entirity, or at least the post entitled 'No More Ladders!' in which the stairs are fitted. They really are one of the things that worked out best about the house, and undercut UK suppliers unbelievably.

On the phone I hedged about amending the earlier entry (to be honest, I wasn't sure if you could) but promised to put this new posting up clarifying matters. However, despite my reservations about post hoc amendments to blogs - smacks slightly too much of an Orwellian rewriting of history - I have deleted the original posting (although it's no doubt still available 'cached') for two reasons:

The first is that I don't want to damage his business (although there are several based much closer to home who really don't deserve much trade if what they did for us is indicative of their general quality). The second is that it was a satirical little skit written in screenplay format which didn't reflect what really happened. I thought its tone was clear when viewed against the day-to-day diary entry feel of the rest of the blog, but people do take things at face value, don't they?

However, I think it is worth revisiting why I suggested that it could be a scam to start with (please note the '?' in the original title - the point was at that stage I didn't know how it would turn out). Only two trades asked for an advance: Maxstairs; and our groundworkers who explained that they needed to pay for the Hanson Jetfloor upfront and (I think) gave me the Hanson contact's number to check with. Also, Maxstairs were the only ones who asked for cash, and twice as much cash as I've ever spent on a car, at that. If you're going to construct a scam, that's how it would start (and probably end, never having any contact with them again).

However, as it turned out, the men from Maxstairs were toffs, scholars, and gents with an excellent line in staircases. And I'm sure their compariots from HBI Polish Stairs (my caller's company) are as well.

So are we all clear now? Fine.

The Story Continues...

2011-04-06T12:32:00.000-07:00

at http://number14-diaryofaself-build.blogspot.com/

Thievery

2009-01-02T05:56:00.000-08:00

Well, what do you expect when you have a traffic cone left out over New Year?

As it was covering the hole where the end of the subterranean ducting is, now without its pull-through, I hope that BT pull their finger out and get their line in so that I can fill the hole up again before somebody puts their foot through the board that's covering it and breaks their ankle.

In other news, the bedroom wardrobes are now in, slightly dwarfed by the size of the bedroom itself. 'They're a standard wardrobe width', I asked the cabinet-maker. 'No,' he said, 'I like to make them slightly undersized', as we will attest to as our clothes now get caught in the doors.

Why? Why?? Why???

Another first

2008-12-16T12:28:00.000-08:00

Yes, the last post was the first to be made using our new surface-run Virgin cable, and this is the first to be made via the Delta 8 data cabling which in a change to normal procedure took about thirty seconds to get to work. (I wonder why the TV and data bits work but the telephone doesn't...)

That's about where the good news stops as a combination of 'normal work' and what I hope is just an ordinary virus rather than ME or total nervous exhaustion is making me feel like I'm wading through treacle. But, at least I'm wading forward:

The shed is up, sort of
The study is almost clear in preparation for the fitting of bespoke office furniture
The sunpipe towers have been stripped out, the holes in the ceiling have been filled with insulation, and I've stuck cut out bits of plastered plasterboard across the holes. (These will, of course, fall off as there's damn all to attach to - read all about it in a later blog.) The idea being that I only have to plaster the gap between the stuck on plasterboard & the original plasterwork. As an aside, the effect of the uninsulated sunpipe domes was brought home to me a few days ago on a very frosty morning when I could see how, around the sunpipe dome the ice had melted on the roof due to the heat leeching through the roof...

We will, of course, be miles off finishing the place for Christmas. In fact, as smooth edges get knocked and perfect paintwork gets smudged, will we ever be finished?...

It is with great pleasure...

2008-12-01T08:49:00.000-08:00

I now realise how utility companies work, digging up the road the day after a gang of men with the same dayglo company name on the back of their donkey jackets have laid a layer of tarmac over the previous day's hole.

The day after I made good the hole where the Virgin cable disappeared into the Openreach ducting (but, luckily the day before I was to dispose of the leftover Virgin ducting) I had a call from Openreach that resulted in a, to put it mildly, very difficult conversation. Basically they're very, very pissed off. Legally pissed off.

My view that there wasn't a service involving a BT line that we wanted, so why don't you wait until we go for one, and in the meantime what's the harm of having a Virgin cable running up there? didn't wash. They gave me until the New Year for the cable to be removed.

So today - sunny, dry, although bitterly cold - I've dug up the cable. I thought it would be a half hour job. Disconnect cable - a simple co-axial connector, bag it up for safety, tie the pull-through to it again, dig up the cable near the surface, pull the whole baby through.

First problem - the TV & broadband is connected by a simple coaxial, but I hadn't spotted that the telephone is another set of wires going into its own little connectors which I had to prise apart. No damage done, me thinks. At least, not much.

I then bag up the wires, tie twine to it and then the pull-through to the twine. My thinking is that the combination of pull-through and cable may get stuck whereas joining them with twine will allow smoother passage. Having exposed the cable at the road end I start to pull, only for the twine to snap a couple of feet into the ducting. Bugger. So there'll be no pull-through for BT to work with. Hope they bring their rods.

The vast majority of the cable emerges. Then it sticks. It's that bloody bag. I dig down. And pull. And dig down. And scrape out with my hands. And pull...

An hour and a half later. I'm right down to the ducting. I can get my fingers - scratched, muddied, bruised - down into the duct. But I still can't shift the bloody cable.

I give it one last heft and it comes loose, the TV/Broadband end a frazzled mess, totally sans it's coaxial connector with a good extra six inches of copper core suggesting that it's broken internally and has started to pull out.

I pull the cable to the house, covering it with my 16 and a half tonnes of gravel (I knew that would come in useful), make good the new hole - thankfully I'd left the Instant Road Repair out in the frost before laying it so the tarmac just peels back allowing me to part bury the cable up the drive, clever me - and connect the telephone up, reassembling the slightly mangled wire connectors. The phone works. Miracle no. 1.

A few snips and cuts later and the coaxial connector from the terrestrial TV cable is attached to the Virgin cable and the whole caboodle rebuilt. After a half hour job that's become most of my daylight hours, we have Broadband and TV back. Miracles nos. 2 & 3.

So, you see, it is with great pleasure that I even post this blog...

Snagging snags

2008-11-21T22:27:00.000-08:00

As we're now in the new house any time I have to update the bog is just as well spent on sorting out the snags, so time tends to be spent sorting out the snags, so apologies for the silence. But, having woken up in advance of the rest of the household, here's a quick glimpse into the state of play with various farces.

Sunpipes
They are no more. Not only do I have to count the cost of the sunpipes themselves, the material and labour cost of putting them in, the additional roofing costs of flashing the domes on the roof, the time & effort taking them out and getting the waste to the dump, but I'm left with ugly holes in the floor & ceiling.

The former will be taken care of by the cabinet maker who will install the bedroom wardrobes, the latter... well, I'm unconvinced a plastering job will be perfect, so I'm inclined to get some big mirrors over them. After all, they're not exactly on the ceiling..

Openreach
Having decided to use the Openreach-provided ducting for our Virgin cable (there's still room enough to share, guys!) I wondered if I'd get chasing call from Openreach asking when we were going to confirm our provider so they could get on with matters.

No, instead I get two burly Irish navvies digging the road up to install a BT cable. I'm up at the very top of the hose cleaning the plaster & paint off the ridge beam when I hear pneumatic drills and fear the worst. I stop them having opened up half the road, which is repaired before the day is out.

I've now got a slightly irritated voicemail from Openreach asking what's going on. Haven't responded yet, but may send a diplomatically & vaguley worded text. Cowardice being a whatever part of valour...

Electricians
Thought they'd gone away, albeit with a few minor things outstanding and the small matter of still retaining our keys. But no, a bill arrived for £250 (a relatively trivial amount in the context of a housebuild, but not when you've got no money left & one house too many) to cover an amount excluded from the last bill for second fixing the kitchen & utility. Which they didn't do.

I then e-mailed to say 'surly some mistake' at which point they moved the goalposts and said it was different, outstanding things not as set out on the invoice. And, yes, it needs paying. So here, with the ease of copy & paste, is my e-mail response. I tried to remain diplomatic but may have just come across as subtle.

John,

Thank you for your e-mail, which I am very surprised at.

Your original quote was for all electrical work to the house, including the kitchen & utility room. It was only when we selected a supply & fit deal for the kitchen & utility room that you were no longer required to fit cooker & integrated appliances, sockets for washing machine & dryer, etc. Although you were always swift to add additional items to your invoices (which were always paid without query, despite the total lack of any breakdown of what these additional items specifically were), you did not clarify by how much your quote would be reduced for the removal of this work.

Your invoice 6108 explicitly states what the £250 for “works not yet complete” was for: second fix to kitchen & utility, the one element of the work for which you quoted and were not required not complete. It did not include “testing” or any suchlike, and your e-mail below smacks of trying to redesignate the work so that it falls into the scope of what you provided. If the £250 did not correspond to this work for which you quoted but was done by others, then there will be another amount by which your invoices should be reduced. Grateful if you could confirm what that it is - £250 appears perfectly reasonable to me, if anything on the low side. Suffice to say, I do not regard £250 as being outstanding.

I am also surprised at your chasing for payment as you have already issued the NICEIC certification, also implying that our account is now settled.

Grateful if you could confirm when we can expect James to carry out the remedial work already noted and return our house keys.

Robert Bagnall

Kitchen
On the subject of the kitchen, B&Q Luton have an amusing variation on Monty Python's Dead Indian sketch ('Buy a ton of coal, get a free dead Indian', 'But I don't want a dead Indian', 'Tough'). Having chased, and received, a refund for the farcical swapping over of units due to the surveyor's inability to wield a tape measure a new kitchen unit arrived, boxed,in the post. Not even one that appeared on our original order.

It made a useful hall table whilst we waited for B&Q to contact us to explain why it had been sent, but nothing.

So we took it back to B&Q Stevenage (where we had ordered the kitchen from, although the fitters came from, thus the farcical bits were managed from, Luton). After half an hour at the desk talking to four different people it transpired that it had been ordered for us by Luton, but free of charge. So, no, we can't be reimbursed, we can't even get a credit note for it. Shelf price, £175. So that'll be on eBay at some point.

(Also, the Good Lady Wife has complained that her contribution to choosing & ordering the kitchen has gone generally unremarked on this blog. Yes, dear, because it went smoothly. Nobody wants to read about the things that went right. That's why we're approaching 200 postings...)

First blog from the new house...

2008-11-03T08:57:00.000-08:00

...although I have almost run out of time by booking Vic the plumber in for another half day to try to commission our underfloor heating properly - at present we're barely getting heat to the top floor, the Girl's room is both cold and wet due to leaking sunpipes (to be stripped out), and the playroom took a fortnight to get even remotely warm...

However, Virgin have done their bit by joining us all up. Weasel deserves a reappearance in the blog as we found that his data ducting was buried over a metre down, not the 25cm we expected. The cable guys who came on Friday dug as far down on the driveway as they felt able (they were under no obligation to dig off the pavement anyway) before saying that if I wanted it run through the duct then I'd have to do it myself. Leaving me on my belly, scooping out clay with my bare hands on Halloween.

Remember, part of the reason we got cable back in was to have a decent TV picture, having discovered the Schneider Delta 8 data cabling delivered four grainy channels and nothing else. Well, having committed to at least another twelve months of having a hundred channels we don't watch, we discovered, when I'd eventually remembered to get the remote for the Freeview box from my parents, that the combination of traditional aerial, Delta 8 and Freeview works perfectly.

So, it does actually work for TV, but does it broadcast the telephone around the house? No, just crackly static and a voice in the ether going 'please replace the handset'. Gee, thanks...

Not particularly joined up thinking

2008-10-27T02:40:00.000-07:00

Utilities are always meant to be the most confusing part of any build, although contractor management, groundworks, design and, well, everything else runs it a close second. We remain disconnected from any form of telephone or internet media, hence only the occasional update to the blog when I return to the old house, still un-let, to work.

The story so far is that, having vowed to stop financing Branson's kids' yachting and doing lots of barking at Openreach to lay a cable, I've learnt that I have to choose my supplier first who then tells Openreach to lay the cables through the ducting they supplied but I paid to be laid. The thinking being that Openreach aren't going to pay to supply a cable that then doesn't get used for years. Fair enough.

Looking through the various options and deals we've swallowed our pride and gone back to Virgin. (Including for the TV give the aerial and Delta 8 set-up give us four slightly shadowy channel - what was that? about £1,000 plus labour?) It would also mean keeping our old numbers and e-mail addresses. At which point numerous hurdles appeared. They wouldn't normally supply a property more than 10m from the road. But there's the ducting there, can't they run it through that? But whose ducting is it?

Now, with the other utility ducting it wouldn't matter. I bought them, I laid them, and if I want to run, say, ferrets through them rather than gas pipes that's my affair. But Openreach supplied the media ducting, even if I laid it. And their surveyor has been more active than other utilities, coming to site to advise. But Openreach can still run their cable through at some later stage. And, anyway, they've also been talking about running an overhead cable, thus making the ducting redundant.

A 'spotter' came out to the property to look at the lie of the land. And that's when it got complicated, to the extent that I'm having difficulty actually explaining it. The spotter pulled various strings behind the scenes to get clearance to use the ducting and arranged to come to the house to get the contracts all signed.

And then I reminded him of transferring over the old contact details. At which point I, as an existing customer, became anathema maranatha (go on, Google it), and he couldn't do anything for me unless I got the Virgin housemoves people to ask him. He gave me a carefully considered form of words to use to counter their claim that I was moving to an unserviceable address, being so far from the road.

So I call the housemoves people who say, no, you're address is fine. Fancy being connected on 3 November? Yes please, but can you call this spotter anyway? Which they agree to, whilst being unsurprisingly unclear why they were doing so.

I then talk to the spotter who says that the engineer who comes on 3rd will probably refuse to lay cable through the duct unless he intervenes, which probably means it'll be a few more weeks before we're connected. Which is the position we're in at the moment.

Don't hold your breath.

127a Church Street - the missing chapters

2008-10-20T11:55:00.000-07:00

20 October 2008, 8pm - I haven't eaen for twelve hours and I've moved a piano. Here's the missing weeks of the blog now on-line, I'm off for a Chinese takeaway...

1 September 2008

I've seen the future - and it leaks

Vic did an excellent job getting the boiler in & joining up all the underfloor heating components, particularly given the bizarre and illogical places in which the electrics & manifolds had been placed by the sparkies and me respectively.

There were only two problems I found when I booted the whole thing into life (apart from failing to note the warning not to restart the process by turning the boiler off & on again, although I don't think any harms been done). Firstly the en suite flooded; partly due to not blocking off all the pipes, partly due to a genuine leak. And secondly a seep from the pump, one of the few joints that the supplier, Nu Heat, were responsible for rather than Vic.

The former was sorted in about an hour, and getting to the connections also allowed the pipework to be rerouted to the radiator (Vic was dubious whether they would get hot the way I'd set them up coming off the domestic hot water). However, I'm still confused regarding the source of the leak. It may have been a dodgy Speedfit connection, but they're normally both failsafe and idiot-proof, and I had checked them when I put them in. Or it may have been the great rent in the pipe I found which, whilst consistent with the degree to which water was leaking out, looked more like it had happened when I perforated the marine ply with a drill to get through it. I'll probably never know.

As regards the seeping pump, I've simply put a container below it to catch the drips. Didn't stop the brickie placing all the boiler manuals in it when he disconnected the hose, though.

So the heating works, and the house is being kept toasty 24/7 given that the second in command at the floor suppliers, who looked like miserable was his default setting, felt that the house was still close to being too damp still to lay the floor. The ground floor screed was sealed on Friday and the floor will go down this week.

2 September 2008

How does he fit it all in?

A question I have been asked. Partly, by managing to hijack business trips to Derby to drive around industrial estates getting quotes for MDF skirting & architrave. Who said building your own house was glamorous?

8 September 2008

The beginning of the end?

I think I've previously invoked Churchill's words about it not being the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning. Well, I think we can now tentatively declare it the beginning of the end as I'm now thinking in terms of things that have to be done, things that have to be done in order to move in, and things that have to be done to get a completion certificate.

The last of those includes getting the doors on (delivered 15 September, chippie arrives w/c 22 September); making the understairs cupboard fireproof; finishing off the overflows from the boiler; getting a ramp to the front door... and I don't think a great deal else other than the air pressure test which I'm hoping the inspector doesn't think necessary.

The other two lists are a lot longer, of course, but the kitchen fitters - and, more importantly, the kitchen - are on site, the floor fitters finishing off the engineered oak floor today, and the bathroom fitter comes back to finish off tomorrow. Talking of which, I'm going to site now to tile the wall behind which he'll attach the WC in the main bathroom.

11 September 2008

Bath wastes - a morality tale

Partially a diary entry, but mainly a lesson in choosing suppliers.

For some reason lost in the mists of time or, more precisely, Easter, we bought two baths and only one bath waste. There was a good reason for this but I'm not sure what. I think it had something to do with sourcing a simple waste for the kids bathroom but as a plug & chain will easily be knocked out by child, and the pop-up type give up after a few years in our experience, we were always going to go for the click-clack type. So why did we buy one and not two at the time? No idea.

Anyway, wind forward a few months and I've deluded myself into believing that there's another waste somewhere in the mass of boxes of bathroom fixtures and fittings. And, as it happens, the expensive waste (Bathstore, £33 incl. vat) has ended up on the kids bathroom in any case.

I get the call Tuesday (9th) that the bathroom fitter doesn't have the waste, can I get one. Trouble is, I'm in London talking about dull things with people in suits so that I can pay the bathroom fitter.

So Wednesday morning I use the brief window of opportunity that Fat Gordon's deluded plan of giving kids two and half hours education a day (and having two kids at different places with staggered start and finish times, my window of opportunity is barely two hours) to hunt the click-clack waste.

First stop, Plumb Center, Bedford. No, don't have one, but Dunstable do. What do you mean Bathstore don't have them off the shelf? Are you sure? (And at Plumb Centre, who you would think would be cheaper than swanky Bathstore, the waste is £33 + vat, even with a trade account.)

Next stop, Timber Center, to chase up the fax they were putting in the post with the profiles for our architraves and skirtings for our approval. The reason it hasn't turned up? They haven't sent it. The reason they haven't sent it? They never received it from the supplier. Did they chase it? Does the Pope shit in the woods. They took some convincing that delaying the ordering of the skirtings and architrave until after the decorators turn up on site to paint them was potentially problematic.

With that out of the way, into the centre of Bedford for Bathstore. As I suspected, no they don't stock anything. But everything's standard fitting, try Homebase.

I have about a ten minute window before the kids get put into care because I've failed to pick them up. And, as I walk in, I see there's a old topless man in a trilby at the only checkout and a queue of about a dozen people behind him going nowhere.

They have a click-clack bath waste.

And it's £26 incl. vat.

And a second checkout opens and I make it out through the door before Mr Nipples.

And the kids stay out of care.

And the moral? Quite often, even despite calls to builders merchants and internet searches, the cheapest price is often Homebase, B&Q or Wickes. Which I wasn't expecting at the beginning, thinking that builders must have a magic route to cheap materials us mere mortals are denied.

I never promised you a particularly good moral, did I?

14 September 2008

Bathroom irritations

You will recall, dear reader, that I got the bathroom fitter in due to my inability to get the cloakroom basin on to the wall with any degree of solidity. I thought a professional may have better luck.

Well, I'm feeling a little irritated with the bathroom fitter who, whilst zooming through the work in a way I wouldn't, has left things a tad wobblier than I would have liked. The cloakroom basin, which he's moved out of the corner of the room which I didn't really want, needs a cupboard around it which I'm not sure he's now going to do. The basin in the main bathroom wobbles on the wall as well, but I suspect this has more to do with it being attached to the studwork. And the toilet (which was missing its fittings, which he told me before he went on holiday, but declined to mention that off-the-shelf fittings didn't fit, otherwise I would have chased up for replacements), which is attached with bits of wood, is a positive rollercoaster. I'm hoping a sea of sealant may hold it down.

Meanwhile, I think I've worked out a plan for making the understairs cupboard fireproof and aesthetically acceptable, so watch out for the entry where I describe the plaster peeling off the faster than I can get it back up. It better work, because I've asked for a final inspection for 29 September, if only to show me the boxes that still need to be ticked.

27 September 2008

48 Hours To Go

A couple of weeks since I last updated the blog, so here’s the latest position with 48 hours to go before our first, though probably not last, final inspection.

The doors arrived the day after the last entry, to the off-line blog at least, got a coat of Danish Oil, and were hung by the carpenter who finished off the studwork. Clearly I can’t count anywhere near up to double figures as I bought hinges for seven fire doors and five normal doors whereas we have eight and four. I also kept getting to him just after he’d completed a particular element that I needed to brief him over – not putting up skirting around the sunpipe towers; putting a lock on the study door, not the en suite.

I didn’t want to given him the briefing too early in the process as I’ve learnt from my experience with the electricians who, bar replacing the bedside lights in the master bedroom, have now finished. When the shade of the dining room light was found to be smashed I said I’d source another shade, which turned out to be part of an entire Ikea lamp. Forgetting that they had to combine the two lamps they’ve simply put up the Ikea lamp in its entirety. Still, not too difficult to change it over.

My personal headache – the understairs cupboards in general, and plastering the underside of the stairs in particular – has gone better than I thought. The plastering took most of a day, but rubbing it down with a damp cloth has given the curves something of a rustic look. There’s still one slight hole in it which needs more plaster. The bits that are meant to be flat don’t look so professional, though. I’ve also prevaricated over boxing in the nightmare of wires and pipes, boxes and boilers and my solution is now to somehow string up a removable rod across the whole shooting match off which we’ll hang coats. The coats will then cover up the mess. So all the pine doors I bought from Wickes have now gone back.

I think the kitchen hanging rack I got from Ikea will also be going back – nowhere to put it that doesn’t cover a spotlight. Apart from wrong handles and the missing innards of one corner unit, and the fact that the surveyor was an innumerate who couldn’t manage a tape measure to the extent that the runs of units had to practically be redesigned by the fitters as they went with elements missed out or exchanged, the kitchen fitting was so uneventful it didn’t warrant a mention here.

Decorators will be back next week to paint the skirtings, architraves and window boards. They put a first coat on to the skirtings before the chippie put them up, making use of a rare run of dry days to paint & stack them in the garden. Reminiscent of breaking ground, the fact that we would have got flooded out over summer but autumn weather has been more trustworthy. Talking of skirtings, there was a slight doubt that I’d ordered sufficient and I haven’t been back to site since yesterday morning. I’ll see when I go back to site tomorrow to sort out what I know won’t pass muster with the inspector before I find out everything else that he needs to see.

1 October 2008

SAPs, EPC, & Air Permeability Tests

The building inspector came, liked the stairs (which really weren’t his concern), didn't even open the door to the understairs cupboards to see their fire-protected nether regions, asked for a smoke detector to be spun round to keep the detector part at least 300mm from a wall (always got to be something to complain about), and said he was happy. Ish.

Not that that means we're finished. Oh, no sir-ee, Bob. We now need to submit our electrical certification, plus our SAP, EPC and air permeability test. When asked what the letters stand for he got a little vague...

You'll recall the work of our slightly crazed energy assessor (friend/colleague of Shower the so-called architect). Well, all that now needs to be redone based on what we've actually built, rather than the bits of paper. And because I am not prepared to go back to our mutual friend, it seems like whoever does it needs to re-do the sums from the design and then modify it according to reality. The company that's doing it for us (sister company of the building inspection company) charges £115 for the first bit and £35 for the second. All this pales against the £300 bill I refused to pay for the initial calculation.

The company won't do air tests, so somebody's coming up from Kent to do it on Monday, both for me and Peter at the Old Grain Store (127a's Victorian doppleganger) who also has a self-build nearing completion. The whole air test thing has left me utterly confused, based as it seems to be on thinking of a number then sticking a fan on your house to justify it. It was this number that BBS thought was missing from the calculations, so I've had several circular conversations with air testers asking for the answer which the test should show, and me not being able to provide it). However, after several more readings of the SAP calculations I’ve now found a number that seems to tie in with what people who tell me that they know what they’re talking about keep talking about.

Oh, and the inspector was content enough with our disabled access ramp – actually the pallet the doors came on cut in half with the bottom hidden by gravel - enough not to fail it, but not so much to avoid asking me to forward photos of it to the inspection company for their approval. No news one way or the other yet…

Meanwhile, our blinds should be being fitted today, but the company who are supplying & fitting said the first and wrote down the third. Which is no good to us as the decorators will be there.

And we also have expensive speakers winging their way to us having been purchased on eBay with minutes left on my 20% off voucher – which then didn’t work because I hadn’t bought one item, I’d bought four. So that was over £40 that I expected to have shaved off the bill that wasn’t. Bastards. But, if they’re attached to the wall then it’s going on our VAT claim…

3 October 2008

Just a bit of a nightmare scenario, that's all...

Not helped by falling off a ladder causing my leg to balloon like a grapefruit. (Do I have to mention that the ladder was lying against a wall and I was trying to walk along its edge in totally unsuitable footwear for reasons too domestic to go into?)

No, the nightmare scenario emanated from the following e-mail from the girl doing the SAP calculation sent me last night: " I have input all the construction details in the SAP calculator and currently the dwelling is failing. This is because the u values for the walls and roof are quite poor, can you tell me at what stage you are in construction, is it built already?"

Is it ****ing built? We're at the point of moving in!

What happened to "“Unilin panels help to comply with Part L Building Regulations and achieve air tightness and energy efficient buildings” using PIR foam having “Excellent U-Values exceeding building regulations in UK and Ireland”?

So I spend part of the night on the net researching the various u-values of all our component materials so I'm in a position to check her assumptions. This morning it turns out that it has nothing to do with walls & ceilings, but if you assume the underfloor heating is submerged in concrete with nothing more than an on/off button then her spreadsheet puts us on a par with Drax power station as a carbon emitter.

But telling the spreadsheet that the pipework is in screed as it really is with zoned/time-controlled thermostats restores our Guardian-reading status. She's also made a load of blanket assumptions regarding windows and asks me to research the real figures, even where I'm surprised she doesn't have them all at her fingertips. Example: she asks me to find out the u-value of the conservation Velux, so I put "conservation velux u-value" into Google and get the result with one mouse click. Doesn't she do this kind of thing daily?

Anyway, nightmare scenario averted and, until the air permeability figure is confirmed, we're virtually identical with the figure Frank from Blue Velvet produced for us. A good air test and we may be B-rated which would be a result.

9 October 2008

Snagging

With the exception of the master bedroom & en suite, and the outside, all of which I’m studiously ignoring, we’re on to snagging. The good lady wife has even put together a spreadsheet with a few dozen snags which I’m expanding to the several hundred items in reality which I can modify to make it feel like I’m progressing things, but I’m not really.

The decorators have been and gone, having done a better job with the woodwork than the emulsion, although I did go a bit Donald Sutherland in Invasion of the Bodysnatchers when I noticed a drip of paint on the stairs. The blinds are also in, which should mean no more trades, discounting the man with a van, which I still need to line up.

Our air test has also taken place. All of a bit of a non-event. Deliberate venting points like bathroom extractors and the tumble dryer vent pipe were covered, and a big sheet went with a fan suspended in it went on the front door. We then sat inside – I thought we were going to be outside – whilst air was sucked out – I thought it was going to be blown in.

The man then took up residency in a fishing chair with a laptop whilst the software controlled the rest, altering the speed of the fan and working out how much air it needed to keep sucking out to keep the how at a certain pressure. Dots were plotted on a logarithmic scale, a line of best fit drawn, and a number generate for our SAP rating. A number less than six, thus giving us the B rating. Good result.

Back to snagging. The playroom is now finished, bar cleaning windows, and the spare room, in which we’ll be sleeping for a while, is also there minus a couple of obstinate screws in shelving and a few oil spots on the walls (I elected to oil the kertos, but I don’t think I will with the others). In classic fashion, the spare room has proved a few cms too narrow (basically the width of the skirting) for the rowing machine, and the placement of sockets in the playroom means the bookcases will half cover up a double socket.

The kids’ bathroom just needs a bit of grouting, some filler rubbing down, a drop of sealant, and paint touching up. Curtain rails to go up in the kids bedrooms (discounting a way of shading the sunpipes), and paint touching up. The open plan ground floor is a bit of a nightmare, but is more of a cleaning job than anything else. Still need to get skirting on in the cloakroom and the study has become something of a dumping ground. If anything, it’s the halls and stairwell that require the most rubbing down & touching up. I have an unexpected opportunity to knock some more items off the list tonight when the Boy’s new bed gets delivered at 9pm.

17 October 2008

Victim of the Digital Age

The bed turned out to be missing the small matter of the rung which will stop the Boy rolling out of bed and falling a metre on to a hard wood floor. Still, life isn't perfect is it?

Snagging continues sporadically, particularly as the vomiting virus has now laid low the Boy, Girl and Good Lady Wife. I seem to have survived after a minor scare when I confused a mild hangover for the early onset of virus. I think four rooms - spare room, and the kids' bedrooms & playroom can be declared finished, with main bathroom not far behind. Not much to do on kitchen/dining/living room or utility room. Study is lacking something industrial to put computer on, but master bedroom & en suite are looking like a junkyard.

To use WWII as an analogy, I think Germany & Italy have fallen, but we still need to drop the big ones on Japan to finish the job off.

Man with van booked for the Monday the 20th, and the old house currently looks like its been burgled - half emptied, half thrown about. Small items going off on eBay and Freecycle, but nobody wants the bits of furniture we have no place for in the new place. Shame to have as the centrepiece of our bonfire night conflagration a leather recliner, but it's what may turn out to be if we can't even give it away.

Major omission from house at the moment is any sort of telephone or broadband connection. Have spent the day trying to get Openreach to run their cable to the house, only to find out that they require me to have selected a supplier. Having made a rushed job at picking one out, we've decided that cable is the best option, thus negating all the work, phone calls, e-mails, and vows that I was no longer going to sponsor Branson's kids yachting trips. I haven't told Openreach yet: I don't think they'll be happy.

Hammonds - a postscript

2008-09-24T02:51:00.000-07:00

Well, if he sends me an irritating letter the least I can do is send one back to him...

Richard Hammonds, Chairman 24 September 2008
Hammonds Furniture Ltd.
Fleming Road
Harrowbrook Industrial Estate
Hinckley, Leicestershire
LE10 3DU

Dear Mr Hammonds,

Thank you for your letter of 18 September expressing your curiosity regarding our "thoughts on the beautiful bedroom ideas my designer put together for you".

Your letter has left me somewhat perplexed given that your designer unilaterally cancelled our meeting the evening before having failed to come up with any designs. When asked why he admitted that Hammonds furniture is not actually made to measure, as suggested in your catalogue, but actually comes in standard sizes, none (or do I mean neither?: I think he admitted there was only two drawer sizes) fitted our space.

All this contradicts your quote in your catalogue (page 83) "I pride myself on being able to get the best out of any space. And I haven't been beaten yet."

I thought nothing of this - we have now ordered genuine made to measure furniture - until I received your letter. I am copying this to the Trading Standards Authority to make them aware of the gap between your brochure's claims and what your designer admitted could be delivered.

Yours sincerely,

Robert Bagnall

Waste Management - A Warning From History

2008-08-26T07:09:00.000-07:00

Vic, of Vic's Plumbing & Heating, is on site as I type, fitting the boiler & joining the spaghetti junction of pipework up that is our understairs cupboard. I've given him two days to get matters to a stage where it can be handed over to the electrician in order to get the floor warm for as long as possible prior to the oak floor going down.

I went down this afternoon to check all was well, which it was, and he told me a sorry tale of a house he had plumbed where thieves had broken in and stripped the place bare, including pulling the boiler from the wall & sawing off the radiators.

Whilst Vic had been careful with what he did with the packaging, the electricians had left the boxes from the plasma TVs in the skip on the roadside. Which acted as a pretty good advert for what was inside the house.

Now, we have got this far in the build using only three skips, and one of those was just to empty half my over-loaded twelve yarder into. This has partly been due to a lack of space out front, but also because I'm a) too tight to pay for skips, and b) a busy fool who thinks his time is better spent bagging rubbish and shifting it to the local dump.

What I hadn't considered was that this approach may have paid dividends when it comes to crime. We've had two accidental breakages (I'm generously including what the incompetent plumbers did to my radio), but no pilfering or vandalism to speak of.

However, now we're approaching the time of fitted kitchens and what-not, I've decided to take the blog (which may not be as visible an advert as a skip, but more sophisticated in its own way) off-line. So I'll still be writing it, but you won't see the results until we're in and the drawbridge is up.

Ciao until then.Vic, of Vic's Plumbing & Heating, is on site as I type, fitting the boiler & joining the spaghetti junction of pipework up that is our understairs cupboard. I've given him two days to get matters to a stage where it can be handed over to the electrician in order to get the floor warm for as long as possible prior to the oak floor going down.

I went down this afternoon to check all was well, which it was, and he told me a sorry tale of a house he had plumbed where thieves had broken in and stripped the place bare, including pulling the boiler from the wall & sawing off the radiators.

Whilst Vic had been careful with what he did with the packaging, the electricians had left the boxes from the plasma TVs in the skip on the roadside. Which acted as a pretty good advert for what was inside the house.

Now, we have got this far in the build using only three skips, and one of those was just to empty half my over-loaded twelve yarder into. This has partly been due to a lack of space out front, but also because I'm a) too tight to pay for skips, and b) a busy fool who thinks his time is better spent bagging rubbish and shifting it to the local dump.

What I hadn't considered was that this approach may have paid dividends when it comes to crime. We've had two accidental breakages (I'm generously including what the incompetent plumbers did to my radio), but no pilfering or vandalism to speak of.

However, now we're approaching the time of fitted kitchens and what-not, I've decided to take the blog (which may not be as visible an advert as a skip, but more sophisticated) off-line. So I'll still be writing it, but you won't see the results until we're in and the drawbridge is up, hopefully before the end of September.

Ciao until then.

Ladies & gentlemen, we are proud to announce...

2008-08-24T12:08:00.000-07:00

...that at 10.05am today a toilet was used in anger for the first time. Yes, it had to be flushed using a bucket of water from the water butt pending the commissioning of the rainwater harvesting system, but even so... A red letter day, methinks.

This weekend has been given over to site clearance; next week the floor people arrive and they'd probably like to see large tracts of it without mountains of crap. The Boy put in his pennyworth by bagging up wires and cables for the recycling and gathering up cardboard. What's come out of the house filled up a VW Passat estate with seats and children removed. Meanwhile, most of the remaining bathroom fixtures and fittings have been moved into the bathrooms, the flooring of which is already down.

The bathroom fitter is now all at sea literally, as opposed to metaphorically, being on a fortnight's cruise. Good timing, as when he returns (not sure yet how many more days the budget will allow him) the floor should be down and the boiler working - we also have plumbers Tuesday & Wednesday.

Also managed to tick off a few other irritating & long-standing tasks, such as insulating the loft space (decided not to board it when I noticed that the sparkies hadn't drilled holes for their cables which are all lying on top of the joists which are, in turn, close enough together to mean that most things can sit on them safely); joining up the top floor underfloor heating flow & return to the manifold; redoing the shower waste in the top floor to give it a greater drop (I fear still not the drop that the building inspector would want, though); and filling it a bit of subfloor on the first floor which has been missing since I laid it back in the autumn.

Still got a list of things to make & do longer than Napoleon's retreat from Moscow. But that's no reason not to celebrate what we have achieved with a beer. Especially in the knowledge we have a semi-working toilet.

A reader writes

2008-08-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

Bloody hell, there's somebody out there...

Alastair Herriott (is that you at http://www.houseinspect.co.uk/meet_team.html, Alastair? They did well to crop out the little board with the numbers...) has set me the following essay question: "On 20-20 hindsight vision (a wonderful attribute) what are the top ten topics you would change, if you were starting another 127 and a half self build?"

Not sure there are ten - at least until we move in and live in it for a while. I could probably do a longer list of risks we took and got right, e.g. ignoring our structural engineer's bizarre view that SIP panels were only for supermarkets:

Buying before the credit crunch. Not sure the house is going to be worth a great deal more than it will have cost, but we may be slightly up on the game, and it's making selling the house we're currently in impossible. But if we saw that one coming...
Having a extra 500mm in all rooms in all directions. Okay, maybe not the ceiling heights, but everything seems a bit tight. Having looked at the stairs I've no idea whether the bed will go up. But if I want to remind myself how small modern houses are, I'll visit the Bellway show home on the site next to ours...
Sunpipes. Having seen the house in the flesh I've no clue why the house on paper gave me the idea that the rear bedrooms on the middle floor would be dark enough to warrant sunpipes. Given the only quote we've had in for fitted furniture around the pipes towers on the top floor has come in at £5k I've still got half a mind to chop them out and make good - a case of good money after bad?
Windows. Putting aside the issues with High Seal, doing the measurements myself and getting the local company to fit has turned out not to be so much of a good deal. My error in measuring the wrong side of a cavity closer reduced the saving considerably, and I still cannot believe our FENSA-registered & reputable fitters incorrectly used foam filler to the extent that it's pushed the frames in & made some of the sashes stick. (When the High Seal fitters pointed this out to me I thought it was bullshit, but I've since read it elsewhere...). Kitchen & stairs have been supply & fit deals with that experience in mind.
Windows again. PVCu or wood? They both have 30-year guarantees, but would wooden windows have had the same internal tilt mechanism for the same price? Still not sure we took the right option.
Insulation. Given our foundations are more insulated than Tony Blair's stint at no.10, we've 'only' got 85mm of insulation in the walls and 100mm in the roof SIP panels, although this all meets if not beats the current stringent regulations. In hindsight I'd have got the walls more insulated to get more of a balance.
Being smarter about how the SAP-rating works. For example, the lack of a porch with a separate door (regardless of whether we'd want one) makes a big difference to the SAP rating, probably making adding a few mm to the wall insulation irrelevant.
Attention to detail. Never one of my strong suits. If it had been, I'd have spotted the 400mm too-narrow cavity closer for the French doors earlier, for example.
Being more aggressive when negotiating. For example, I could probably have done some more cash deals with trades to save a few bob.
Being braver with both design & materials. Brick & block isn't exactly the future: next time I'd like to have straw bale insulation & a turf roof, say.

In other news

2008-08-22T22:05:00.000-07:00

Recent non-staircase related news includes:

Our drainage passing its air pressure test, including the en suite bathroom not yet installed. As the building inspector said, it's me who has the problem if there's a leak, so he's happy for me to satisfy myself that the en suite is watertight. (One moment of hilarity, but only if you found A-level physics enjoyable, is that I'd bunged the soil vent pipe - and it was this bung through which I had my manometer set up - before the bathroom fitter filled the traps up with water. Naturally there was spillage down the svp, so behind the bung was full of water. No wonder it held about three times the pressure that 40mm pipe should be able to... Took a while for us to work that one out.)
The garden wall continues apace. Climate change permitting, should be done by the end of the month.

No idea how long the underfloor heating will run for before the floor goes down. Apparently, the plumber (due Tuesday) won't be able to get it going, it'll need the sparkie to come back. So it may just be a matter of days. This better not turn out to be a problem...
All the trades lined up apart from the decorators coming back to do the glosswork, for which we need to get out architraves & skirtings in.
And it appears to be not just 10% off, but buy-one-get-two-free weekend at Homebase. That is, if you go to the trainee checkout girl. That's about £50-worth of shelving free - thanks!

No more ladders!

2008-08-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

At least internally. Despite my suspicions that the whole thing may have been an elaborate hoax, what with almost £7,ooo in used twenties changing hands, the Poles have left us with a top drawer staircase.

However, one sparrow-sized fly in the ointment is that the studwall they were meant to have carefully measured and cut into to, they've instead hacked out leaving me with more plastering and painting to do, not just a bit of filling. May as well not have done any of the studwork for the understairs cupboards until after the stairs went in...

Richard Hammonds - Economical with the truth

2008-08-20T12:46:00.000-07:00

"I pride myself on being able to get the best out of any space. And I haven't been beaten yet." (Hammonds fitted furniture brochure, page 83).

Yes, that's why your designer phoned up this evening to cancel tomorrow morning's meeting because he couldn't work out a way to get the furniture to fit into the dead spaces in the master bedroom. Something to do with, for example, only having two possible sizes of drawers available. Rather flies in the face of all the glossy 'bespoke' & 'made to measure' statements in the brochure, eh Richard?

Feeling ever so slightly shaky

2008-08-19T13:25:00.001-07:00

One word of advice to anybody considering this life is not to try to combine it with a full time job. Luckily my job is rarely full-time, fairly flexible, and mainly from home. But, even so, something about today has left me feeling not 100% in control.

Part of it was due to an ambitious aim of cold calling about 60 different organisations to get them to sign up to something they didn't know they want, which is not my forte, but needs must (I got about two thirds of them done, which isn't bad). However, what should have been a totally fee-earning day turned into something of a foraging for materials day. (Although it's all still akin to beach volleyball for the major part of the population of the planet trying to get by on less than $1 a day)

Lunchtime, I showed the new brickie the garden wall job. In a break from the norm, the brickie who I'd given the job to who then went into hospital to have his knee "snapped & re-set" who promised to find somebody else to do the job at his already competitive quote, has done exactly that.

I had feared the job would drag out to September or even October, and without the wall up I can't get the garden done or a shed up, and without a shed up I can't very well empty the caravan. But he can start... tomorrow. So it's an emergency order for sand & cement. But, as I won't be around tomorrow, God alone knows where they'll drop it. Probably in front of the Capital Letters' garage thus sparking WWIII.

Then the bathroom fitter - nice bloke, although his basins are no more secure than mine - had another minor shopping list for me to procure. Included in this was the shower tray for the en suite in order for him to make progress. You may remember that on the one hand I thought I'd have the en suite to do myself, but also that he was eating up the work. So - and this is typical in the life of the self-builder - I had to educate myself as to what's available via a few Google searches and conversations with Luton-supporters at Plumb Center before shedding another £100. I hope what I've bought suits - I was getting upstands confused with plinths and panels by the end of it. I don't think my biorhythms were set out today for decision-making.

And it was also the first time that I'd seen the electrician on site for ages and there was a number of minor quibbles to go through with him. Like, is it a good idea to put a thermostat under a shower.

End of the day, had a mad rush to get the shower screens to site (quite how we get them two storeys up the ladder remains to be seen) and the plumbing changed over so that the pipe to the garden, previously set up for harvested rainwater, jets out mains for the brickie.

Tomorrow, my 100% childcare day, the gas meter goes in. Bathroom fitter , brickie & sparkie on site again. I've also got an early morning call at Wickes with the kids. And I need to get folding stuff to pay the Pole for the stairs on Friday. And there are still a thousand things to do.

Never ends.

PS - For the benefit of the Good Lady Wife who recently bought it for me as a present, the Swiss Army Knife should have been described as "trusty", not "rusty". Dodgy keyboard. Need to buy that MacBook & charge it to the business...

Self-builder in 'not making court appearance' shocker

2008-08-18T06:31:00.000-07:00

The improbable, if not impossible, has happened in as much as I've finally paid off the last of the High Seal Windows bill. They turned up, sealed up the front door, put up missing screw covers & Georgian bars, replaced the mechanism they'd removed, and promised to send the last missing bits in the post (and something wrapped in bubblewrap has since arrived).

Even so, it's turning out to be a trilogy in at least four parts as the interior trim of the sash needs something doing to it, preferably replacing, because it buckles every time the sash is pushed up due to the mitre'd joints. Putting aside the fact that High Seal aren't this week's flavour of the month with me, this is a real design flaw on what is otherwise a nice product (for a PVCu window). I've been promised replacement bits to clip into place, but it may be a case of my rusty Swiss Army knife and me reshaping and reclipping the existing trim.

Meanwhile the bathroom fitter continues apace, although he can't get the cloakroom basin any more secure than me, so he's going to put a cupboard underneath. Given he estimated three weeks work, he appears to have done about a third of it in two days to the extent that we manhandled the smaller of the two steel baths up on to the first floor this morning to enable him to keep going.

The electricity meter is now also in - the Siemens man fitting it wanted me to confirm that the sparkie had finished everything inside the house. Yes, of course, I said, having no idea whether that was true (actually knowing this wasn't but, more to the point, having no idea whether all the wires are safely taped up). Gas meter due Wednesday, plumber due next week to make our heating work. Love it when a plan comes together.

And the only piece of post to arrive at the house whilst we were away: a red letter from the TV licencing people. I may be seen in court yet...

Just passing through

2008-08-12T13:26:00.001-07:00

Not stopping - just a quick post between holiday (Northumberland caravan: intermittent rain; fat smokers with tattoos & single mums with grandparents younger than us; started with a cold, ended with food poisoning) and trip to the in-laws, departure tomorrow lunchtime.

Thought I'd just make a few calls today, make sure that as many plates are still spinning as possible. Found a brochure in the Sunday Times whilst on holiday (oddly, they didn't sell that in the site shop) of a fitted bedroom furniture maker who claims they offer clever storage designs. So, I thought, get them to quote for those annoying spaces around the sunpipe towers.

So I call them. They want to come tomorrow morning, 10.30am, will take an hour or so, maybe two. Bit tight, but what the hell.

I call the stair people. With typical Polish efficiency (just how did they let themselves get invaded in '39?) it may even be next Monday for delivery and installation, the day after we get back. Okay, but it means getting the paint on the new plaster today. So, that's my day set out for me, on top of going to Letchworth to buy our front outside light, and Stevenage to collect the vinyl floor for one of the bathrooms.

Whilst rubbing down the wobbles on the plaster where the old's joined the new, the phone rings. It's Build Centre. High Seal Windows are threatening legal action over the unpaid bill, unpaid because my front door still isn't sealed in and they've had part of the mechanism of one of my windows since May. Can I write them a letter setting out the whys and wherefores for their lawyers.

So I call High Seal to try to get anther date for fitting, just to knock the whole thing on the head. They can do... tomorrow. Having turned down a date whilst we were on holiday, I can hardly say no. So I say yes.

And the bathroom fitter's starting tomorrow. And maybe the electrician will be back - he wasn't today, but there's enough wires hanging out of walls and ceiling to show that his work isn't finished.

It may get a bit crowded down there tomorrow. (What, like a real building site?)

Possibly may have saved the marriage there

2008-07-31T13:08:00.000-07:00

Much as I'd like the challenge of getting the bathrooms in, what with chickenpox, freelance work, and holiday it's becoming increasingly clear that that's not going to happen. So I had a bathroom fitter round this evening who's free during August (I know, there should be a big flashing sign somewhere in the background reading "Why? Think about it...") But, although I like the theory of taking up references the fact is he's sure to do a better job than me.

He reckoned there was three weeks work to get the bathrooms in (which surprised me), but given I don't want him to start until we're back he can only give me two which means a) two thirds the bill of what it might have been; b) I'm pretty certain we'll have a cloakroom and main bathroom in place for when we move in which will stop my nads being used as Christmas decs; and c) I can still while away some time in the en suite.

Also, if I can get the scanner to keep its end up the stair plans should be signed and sent this evening. Another thing ticked off.

Tradesmen bloody tradesmen

2008-07-31T05:35:00.000-07:00

It's all been a bit hunt-the-tradesman this week.

Having accepted a week's deferment for the second fix electrics because the electrician we seem to have ended up with was on holiday (even though I've engaged a company we only seem to have James available to us), he was then due to start on Monday. I cleared the decks Monday & Tuesday to run around searching for any bits and pieces he needed so that we could go on holiday at the end of the week and let things run their course.

Monday came and I was on site from 8am onwards battling the cloakroom basin again. By 10am (I wasn't going to chase too early as he was only just back from holiday), no James. I called the office. Oh, he's doing exams for two days. At which point I threw a bit of an undiplomatic wobbly. He'll be there Wednesday morning.

Wednesday morning, I drive down at 6am to unlock the site and then wandered down at 10am to check that he'd found all the bits. No James. Lock site. Call office.

A developer had called at short notice and he'd gone there. Not an emergency in the sense of anybody's bathroom flooding as far as I could tell. Just a short notice job. Sod the fact that I'd given them several weeks notice, no, that counts for bugger all. Next time I'll call them when I want it started, oh, yesterday.

He's now on site and things haven't progressed enough for any major cock-ups, but who knows where we'll be when we get back from holiday?

Plumbing the depths

2008-07-28T12:59:00.000-07:00

Today's game is called 'getting as much done before you run out of bits'. I could have got the cloakroom toilet in if I had a 10mm drill bit to hand. I could have got the shower head and radiator fully installed in the en suite if I had brought the extension from home to power the drill; I could have joined up the radiator in the kids' bathroom if I had some kind of miraculous thing to join the valves to the pipes which don't stick out of the wall far enough (although Google seems to think tap connector will do - not convinced).

As I have both "real work" (i.e. invoiceable work) and I'm going through something of a motivational slump, I'm going to ask the plumber who thinks he's just joining up the spaghetti junction of tubes and pipes in the understairs cupboard, to finish off whatever I don't get done in the bathrooms.

Also had a minor panic having sold off 9m2 of underlay on eBay (90 new pence!!!!) when it occurred to me that I may need it for the lino in the kids bathroom. Having Googled that too I've discovered that, no, I don't need underlay. But it is apparently a bloody nightmare to get right. Looking forward to that one...

Hey Mr Postman...

2008-07-27T15:20:00.000-07:00

Interesting things the post throws up. Delivered to the site recently were an offer for cheap buildings insurance for the over-55s (I'm 38, Goddammit), and another threatening letter from the TV licence people. Sort of mixed messages in terms of whether we're going too slow or we're on track.

Delivered to our home address, despite it being misaddressed with our name misspelled radically, was an invoice from the plasterers (who live about two dozen doors up on the same road). The additional labour seems to have ended up at £100 (I rather think it's the original quote mis-transposed). But there's another £150 for materials. They did supply beading, and I've noticed some of the plasterboard there isn't what I originally ordered, but they also took away my unused hardwall & multi-finish. I may query that one... or I may pretend I never got it. Depends how I'm feeling.

And we've had another letter threatening court action over the window bill. Ho hum.

Meanwhile, also arrived, albeit electronically, is the stair plans. Literally plans, i.e. without any vertical sections. I asked for some, so they sent smart 3D drawings. Smart, but little use for working out where my stud wall under the stairs is going to go. In order to try to get the plasterers back I've extrapolated from the plans, even going so far as to use long multiplication, to put the wall up.

Watch this space for lots of swearing when I realise that I've got it completely wrong and the door lining is in the way of the stairs. Sometime late August, probably.

Not everything comes in threes

2008-07-24T03:10:00.001-07:00

I'm a great believer in the totally unscientific and irrational belief in things coming in threes. So when, this morning, everything I tried to use to fix the cloakroom basin to the wall failed to do the trick, and the fitted bedroom furniture man took two minutes to decide he couldn't deliver what we want, I had a bad feeling about my meeting with Bellway regarding the boundary issue.

As it turned out it was all very civil and they bowed to the inescapable logic of reinstating the boundary fence where it had been before rather than trying to extrapolate from the felt pen line on a photocopy of a photocopy of a 1:1250 scale plan provided by the Land Registry. Made sense to me, and also means that they're providing the fence, which was actually clear all along in the plans, but I'd already mentally budgeted for it.

The cloakroom basin issue (yet to be re-categorised as a 'saga') is a worry, not so much from the point of view of getting the basin up - if necessary I can fill the ever increasing holes with cement and start again, but in terms of getting the wire lights, cooker hood, and a few other heavy, expensive, and/or under tension items to stay up.

It's also concerning from the point of view of how long it's taking me to get one lousy basin up when I have toilets, baths & showers to fit, false walls to go up, drainage to connect, given how long we have before we want to move in.

As to the bedroom furniture issue - which is all about making best use of the dead space around the sunpipe towers on the top floor - if you can get corner kitchen cupboards to swing out, why can't you get similar stuff for bedrooms?

Dust to dust...

2008-07-22T23:15:00.000-07:00

Called in to the house briefly on Monday having been playing the role of a capital commuter with a computer before picking the kids up from the childminder.

The ease with which I had drilled the holes in the plaster/hardwall/Celcon Standard sandwich to take the cloakroom basin (don't think hot knife through butter, think hot knife through... nothing) worried me, so I decided to see whether I could pull the basin off the wall, because if I could the Boy certainly will.

Looks like I'm going to need some new fixings...

It's starting to look like a house

2008-07-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Two half-days worked over the weekend, floor down in cloakroom, basin on wall (sort of, needs adjusting), half a floor in en suite, discovered radiator in first floor bathroom misses the marine ply I put there to hold it & the pipes sticking out the wall are too short, and screed finally down by the new front door (missed out by screeders in April because door needed to be changed).

And the paint? Remember that episode of Only Fools & Horses where Del buys a load of unmarked paint tins that turn out to be fluorescent yellow for the insides of railway tunnels?...

Paint being slapped on walls

2008-07-17T12:24:00.001-07:00

Decorators most sniffy yesterday about the amount of paint I'd provided. In their eyes I'd made the cardinal sin of believing the coverage given on the tins. So they sent me out to buy more bathroom paint and made strange sucking noises regarding the lavender for the Girl's room, the red for the Boy's & the study, and the yellow for the playroom. I told them I'd get more if we proved to be running short and, oddly enough, today they didn't need me to make another trip to Homebase. Odd that.

Where the hell was I?

2008-07-15T22:37:00.001-07:00

Just about recovered from the pox. We made it into an event for the whole family with both the good lady wife and me catching it from the kids. Being infectious, we didn't even make it out of the house for a week or so, not even for a pint of milk. Thank God for Ocado or else we would have had to eat the children.

Made it on to site yesterday for the first time since the bloke in our front garden stopped shouting 'bring out yer dead'. Had grand plans of painting bathrooms and getting the odd basin on walls. In the end all I manged was clearing the inside, and some of the outside, of the plasterers' mess. (And because it had all been rained on, one of the bags of hardwall split at the dump at which point the gopher running the crusher fetched the world's largest dustpan and brush. Think Dom Joly's mobile phone and you've got some idea...)

Serendipitously, as I was beginning to shift their unused bags of hardwall & multi-finish the plasterers turned up to remove them. Having helped them with the bags into the van they departed for me to discover that they'd left 50kg-odd of scaffolding tower platform made of plywood with my scaffolding boards screwed to them on the first floor which I had to get down. Didn't mention that, did they? There was a moment when I thought it was going to pull me down the stairwell as I let it down to the floor on the ladder. Thanks lads.

In other news, the decorators have made themselves available early, so paint is being splashed on walls from today for the rest of the week. We've ignore the professional advice to only use paint for new plaster and have bought the final finishes that we want to live with, including Sto Climassen odour-eating paint for the open-plan living/dining room kitchen at £50 a tin. At that price it better work.

The decorators may be confused by the fact that there's some plastering still missing. The reason there are still bits of plastering missing is that I have yet to put up the stud wall at the bottom of the stairs. The reason I have yet to put up the stud wall is that I'm still waiting for the stair plans to come through. The reason I'm still waiting for their plans to come through is the plasterers were so late doing the stairwell. The effect of muppets: like ripples in a pond. As long as they leave me enough paint I can get those bits done later.

The decorator's keenness has been balanced out by the brickie who's going to do our garden wall making himself unavailable for the next five weeks. In one way that's not a problem - I can concentrate on the internals, and we'll have mains power when he starts. But the bricks are blocking the windows which need sealing and I'm still waiting for High Seal Windows to come and finish the job. I don't want to move the bricks about again. And I've already had one threatening letter from Wolseley Credit Services about the unpaid bill...

A couple of storm clouds on the horizon; our neighbours Bellway Homes (the developer, not a new name for the Capital Letters with whom there is more or less peace & contentment as we have hardly any contact) seem to think that the boundary between our land is a metre or so inside what we regard as our garden. A meeting has been arranged for next Thursday. I hope that this is a false alarm as all that we should be talking about is reinstating the fence that they removed when they cleared their site. But their site manager has mentioned 'co-ordinates' that put their boundary inside our garden. Co-ordinates? This isn't Star Trek, you know...

The other fly buzzing near the ointment is that our wood floor supplier is getting very sniffy about there only being a few days between the plumbers coming to get our underfloor heating to work (26 August), and therefore the screed up to temperature, and them coming to lay floors (early September). I hope this won't be a problem as the screed will have been down for four and half months by then, over summer at that (screed dries at a millimetre a day, and ours is 55mm thick). Given that we can see the finishing line of this marathon I don't want to push the schedule for the floor, and therefore the kitchen, back any further. Watch this space.

May have droppd the ball on that one

2008-07-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

I should have listened to what my mother said. I'm not sure what it was because I wasn't listening, but I think some of it may have been along the lines of dealing with things as soon as they come in rather than putting them on the to-do pile.

Whilst concentrating on getting a date for the kitchen fitting (pencilled in for w/c 8 September) I've realised that the quote for the engineered oak floor has been sitting in my e-mail for two weeks now without me having reviewed it, what with pox, plasterers and trying to sort out electrical fittings.

When written the floor could be installed in September. I just hope that's still the case, otherwise kitchen, and therefore the whole caboodle, would have to be shifted backwards which is not what we want at all.

The Great Homebase Chickenpox Epidemic of 2008...

2008-07-02T12:42:00.000-07:00

You heard it here first, but if elderly Eileen (just the right sort of age to find it fatal) didn't want to contract chickenpox from the Girl & me, then she shouldn't have taken so long ordering our double sockets (as you can see, we're going down the gold-plated top-quality route again). Yes, ideally we shouldn't have been in there at all, and we kept well back, but we need to source our electrics and if they do start dropping like flies at the A1 retail park then I blame Homebase's IT system...

Unsurprisingly, given the cross painted on the door and the bloke outside shouting 'bring out yer dead', not much else to report other than that the plasterers seem to have finished, notwithstanding a few bits around the stairwell. Not a job that's going to win either prizes or writs. And I have yet to see a bill or my set of keys.

Talking of the stairwell, that was finally measured this evening. Whilst the Poles didn't seem to understand 'chickenpox', they did grasp 'contagious' and my refusal to shake their hands...

Paint, pox & plaster

2008-07-01T00:02:00.000-07:00

Not sure if I have my poxy daughter to thank or not.

Rather than get on with bathrooms and decorating, she couldn't be left with the childminder so I spent the day trying to keep her hydrated, placing a few calls to paint merchants to see if I could shave a few farthings off the price of Dulux.

The range of Dulux paint - just white paint, forget colours - is baffling. I've been thinking Light & Space paint for the upstairs, Endurance anywhere where the kids will headbutt the walls, and Sto odour-eating paint for the open plan downstairs. (I've also decided that next time I'm voting communist in order for there to be only one kind of white paint - and one kind of electrical socket, for that matter, too).

But Brewers rather put a spanner in the works by telling me that if I didn't either let the hardwall & plaster dry out for six months beforehand or use plain old Trade SuperMatt on the new plaster then the paint would weep, bubble, and run, the moon would turn blood red, and a great pestilence would sweep the land (I may have imagined the last few items, I'm feeling ever so slightly not very well myself). This was seconded by the Dulux Decorating Centre.

Given Trade SuperMatt only comes in white and magnolia this left me feeling slightly depressed at the prospect of ending up with something that looks like a Barratt home.

Plus, I've already started putting a mist coat on of normal matt white emulsion where the plaster has gone pale. As I've said before, if I only cock up once a week...

But then again, none of the decorators specified that it would have to be done in paint for new plaster. And some of them were talking about the Endurance paint. Nobody vetoed the Sto odour-eating paint. And when I went down to site this morning (will the plastering ever end?)one of the plasterers looked at a wall that had been done a couple of weeks ago and declared it ready for painting. Ever so slightly confused now...

Decorating starts, without decorator

2008-06-29T14:13:00.000-07:00

...and without all the plastering finished, either.

Yes, halfway through clarifying exactly what our preferred (and recommended) decorator has quoted for, he has decided that he can't fit the work in. He did this by taping a scrawled message to the door of the new build (which I completely missed to begin with) despite having our phone number & home address. (This was also the means by which he communicated his original quote, with the sides of the lined A4 paper taped together, so I was only left with the middle three-quarters, wondering if there was any significant bits lost in the congealed tape. I haven't seen that since I was, oh, about eight years old).

This means that I'm having to go to the second choice, without recommendation, decorator having lost a week, but still trying to get the decorating (walls & ceilings, if not woodwork) in before we second fix the electrics starting on the 28th July. So, I'm trying to keep the ball rolling by getting something of a mist coat up where there's going to be fixtures & fittings (bathrooms, sunpipe diffusers, etc.)

I thought we may have had plasterers there this morning - possibly not when I arrived at 7am but by the time I left at 11.20am given they're desperate to finish, partly because I've turned into a grouchy customer. But, no, not a sign of them...

My estimate is that it was a quote

2008-06-26T05:58:00.000-07:00

Things seem to be back on track with the plasterers - at least they're still plastering. They called me down there earlier this morning to talk about problems the tackers had left them in not plasterboarding the reveals around the Veluxes (if you check out Mark Brinkley's blog http://markbrinkley.blogspot.com/ there's a photo of me against one of the windows) plus another few other minor irritations. They said it'll mean another day's work or so - plus they'd already made noises regarding having to put two coats of PVA on the blockwork adding to the bill.

And then it suddenly occurred to me. What I'd got was a quote, not an estimate. Unless I move the goalposts what I pay is what's written on the piece of paper. Don't I? I have a certain sympathy with today's issue as I think it's fair to assume that they took it as read that all would be ready for them. But the blockwork? They saw all the blockwork that needed PVA'ing - I didn't knock up a couple of extra walls between them quoting & starting. I can only assume that the quotes that came in behind it took the two coats of PVA into account.

I don't feel I've got the gas in the tank - mentally - to fight them over this one, plus the piece of paper that has the magic number on says neither 'estimate' nor 'quote' on it. Canny, that. Watch this space.

Meanwhile, as an alternative to gouging my eyes out, I'm trying to translate the electrician's schedule into a shopping list, trying to work out what's visible which will be brushed stainless steel or suchlike, what's hidden and will therefore be cheap white plastic. My MK catalogue shows all their cooker switches positioned horizontally, but mine's vertical. What's that about?? And spurs? Some of their spurs need sockets, some need switches, and some are just wires trailing into the utility room which I'll attempt to plug a washing machine into. How? tell me that...

Free money

2008-06-22T15:18:00.000-07:00

Send me (robertbagnall@ntlworld.com) your e-mail address and I'll send you a fiver. Sort of. Go on, you know you want to...

Client Relationship Management? Balls to that...

2008-06-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

I think for a while back there I'd lost the plasterers...

Not having been to site since Tuesday, what with poxy child and various numbers to crunch, I went down on Friday lunchtime to show Mark Brinkley, author, guru & general good egg (http://www.blogger.com/profile/03473684038478246288), around in the full confidence that they were there and getting on with it. Imagine my surprise when I phoned them on the way to confirm they were on site as I had neglected to take my keys (they have a set thus enabling them to get on with it without needing me getting in their way) to be told, 'oh no, mate, we're in Norwich, have been all week.'

Given that the stair measurers were due the next morning expecting three storeys of plastered stairwell and that they had already been put back once by the plasterers' utter inability to deliver to an agreed deadline I was, let's say, unimpressed. Not only that, I had been assured, in writing (okay, text message: it's like writing but not what any of my English teachers would have recognised) that the job would be completed in two weeks which took us up to the day before all this, even allowing for a twice-delayed start.

I think I've mentioned over the last couple of weeks the 'I'll be there at 7.30am' plasterer's 8.30am starts, but not his habit of having his girlfriend hanging around on site 'between clients' (no, not that sort of client: she's a beauty therapist... oh, hold on...). Whilst I don't mind if the job gets done... let's say it's all been adding to my sense of humour failure.

Despite not wanting to do anything in the heat of the moment I sent the head man a text saying that I expected the job to be completed by the end of the month and didn't expect to be billed for more than £3600 - £600 less than quoted - in recognition of the costs that I would incur with the delay they were causing to the whole project.

This was essentially a negotiating stance with a view to either getting some money off the job, or ensuring that the job gets taken seriously. I just got a bald text message back: "I don't think so".

When I'd calmed down I phoned the head man who laid the blame on his plasterer for not getting on with the job, which I found about as professional as big shoes & a spinning bow-tie. This is after the plasterer, the one in Norwich, the one without an alarm clock - are you following this? - told me that he'd complained to the head man earlier in the week that being pulled off to Norfolk would seriously screw up my project and he thought that I deserved at least a phone call from the head man. A phone call which never came.

But he blankly refused to take any hit for failing to deliver the goods to the agreed timescale and I don't think there was any shifting him on that one.

Anyway, I've agreed that as long as the job is completed by the end of the week they get their money. Don't hold your breath.

Running hot & tepid

2008-06-17T02:34:00.000-07:00

I think I've shown all the pencil chewing tradesmen around the site who are coming for the moment. Quotes for bricking the garden wall varied by 50%, and two quotes have come in for the decorating, one double the other. Maybe it's the pessimist in me, but this sort of disparity just leaves me wondering whether going for the lower quote is a good deal or merely a case of paying peanuts and getting monkeys. Neither's from one of the two recommended decorators, so let's wait and see where they fall.

I've also had the new plumber round (given he was recommended and I've got through two plumbers already I'm not looking for other quotes) who looked at the mass of pipes - hot, cold, flow and return for the underfloor heating, rainwater harvesting coming in & going out - and asked whether the cold supply running through the screed had been lagged. No, I said. Oh well, he said, you'll have running hot & tepid in the winter when the underfloor heating's running.

(I've realised as I typed that the hot & cold actually run underneath the insulation rather than through the screed, so it's not a problem, but having typed it I think I'll just let the entry stand...)

My house doesn't leak (sort of, if it ever did...)

2008-06-15T12:41:00.001-07:00

Finally got Ivan & Reno around to the house on Saturday morning (I told the plasterer I'd be there at 6am to redo some of the studwork which didn't go low enough for the stairs; he said he'd be there at 7.30am; I redid the studwork the evening before and got there at 8am; he got there at 8.20am) to look at the sunpipe issue.

According to their collective geniuses (genii?) the 'leaking' sunpipe - which, bizarrely, only seemed to spring a leak during one of our several recent torrential downpours - was probably an effect of condensation, though possibly partly down to me trying to pull it down to get it to run through its tower which has the same effect on our bedroom as that cooling tower through the Millennium Dome. Just in case it was the latter (and it could only be coming through one tiny screw hole which my dislodging of the inner piece had opened up) Reno did his Edmund Hilary bit and mastic'ed... well, absolutely anything that water could run through.

Although I'm convinced in my head, but not 100% in my heart, that it was condensation it seems bizarre that he reported that the 'leaking' sunpipe's dome had not been sealed in the factory in the same way as the other had been. Friday afternoon in Krakow, I guess.

Now that the downpipes are in place and that corner of the house is no longer being soaked every rain shower (the brickwork has taken on a greenish tinge) I can tentatively declare the house watertight. However, the High Seal Windows soap opera rolls on with the front door and various other joints between PVCu items and brickwork yet to be sealed.

I may have paid the big bill, but I still have a supplementary £500 bill which I'll hold back on until all the i's are dotted and t's crossed.

(Meanwhile, the reject windows are on eBay http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=320262708863&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=011, http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=320262706354&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=011- grab yourself a couple of very heavy bargains!)

Irritations

2008-06-12T11:43:00.000-07:00

I've remembered why I invariably end up doing so much myself. It's the pain of seeking quotes, identifying possible tradesmen, trying to get recommendations (& sorting out the real recommendations out from the 'I've got a mate who can...' type), and showing pencil-sucking strangers around the build who have half an eye on deciding how much they can inflate their bid by before you flinch. That sort of thing.

Currently, I'm seeking two lots of trades. Brickies to do the garden wall with the left-over bricks, and decorators (a vainglorious attempt at planning ahead). I've had two quotes for the brickies, the lowest of which needs an answer by tomorrow (Friday) in order to start next week, or else it's a month's time. And I'm expecting another two quotes Saturday. You see the dilemma.

For decorators I have a recommendation from the tacker who also recommended the plasterers. Given that they've only really done half a room, the wiring for the room thermostat is coming out in a random place and they've plastered over a backbox for a plug, this may not be a good thing. Words may be needed tomorrow.

Spot the odd one out

2008-06-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

The plasterers are turning out to be archetypes of the building trade, disappearing for a day here, a day there.

I suppose that it doesn't matter in the end as long as the job is good, and it's turning out fine as far as I can tell - nobody's going to look at our living room wall and say, 'hold on, there's a couple of days here when nothing got done', but it is mildly frustrating at the moment. They'll be back Friday, although one of the missing days is due to a funeral which is, I guess, all part of the ultimate unforeseeable event.

On the plus side, they say they'll be back Saturday to do the stairwell which they seem to think will be done in a day. Including putting up and taking down the scaffolding tower. Good luck to them, that's what I say.

Meanwhile, whilst they got on with plastering the kitchen I finally put in the downpipes (some five months after the rest of the guttering went in) and joined it to the new drainage. Bit disappointed to find that, whilst they had been stacked out of the way, the thin steel on one had got a tad bent and buckled. This is in addition to the small dent that was already on one of the installed downpipes (Ivan, I think, trying to work around it).

Anyway, made a good job (if I say so myself) of two, and due to bent metal and a lack of the right bendy bits made a bit of bodge, albeit a workable bodge, of the third. See if you can spot the odd one out...

If you're going to be there, be there

2008-06-09T00:20:00.000-07:00

Friday, the plasterers said they would be there at 7.30am - I was, they weren't. And they weren't when I left the site at 8.20am, but they were there later that day.

Today, nobody around at 7.30am (although they assured me that they'd be there), so I left them a note in chalk on a length of plasterboard to say that I thought I'd done everything they needed me to. I don't really mind as long as the job gets done, but don't promise if you're not going to deliver.

We'll see.

Two steps forward, one step back

2008-06-06T22:16:00.000-07:00

It would have been useful when I woke up at 5.40am and got down to site at 6am yesterday to build the stud wall underneath the stairs that I'd realised that I cannot put it up because it would get in the way of scaffolding tower needed to plaster the stairwell. So rather than put it up I ended up taking down some of the timber already there. That'll have to wait for next weekend.

I did, however, get through a few of the list of annoying other jobs that the plasterers keep spotting for me to do, including plasterboarding the structural steel. I'm relying on the hardwall to keep it all in place when it goes up next week. Not having been to site for the best part of 24 hours I do wonder whether it's still in place without it.

One of the most annoying things I have on my list of things to make & do is to take out some to the window boards the carpenter put in and recut them. This is because the carpenter had cut them square to the windows, but the window fitters hadn't put all of them in square to their openings, hence the sills will stick out more one side of the window that the other. One is even off the vertical and also not in line with the all itself - diving and yawing if it were an aeroplane. It's all too marginal to notice on an everyday basis, of course, unless you're a plasterer putting up window reveals. But muggins has to take them off, cut them, and somehow get them back flat and neat without later having to resort to half a ton of filler (most of which is earmarked for the window boards I cut myself anyway).

As it is, despite taking the morning off to sleep, I've still woken up at 5.40am, so have decided to kick off the weekend by writing a shitty letter to the bank who have refused to let me have money from my account on the grounds that they "do not hold a record of [my] signature on file", even though I had to schlep to the branch last time I wanted money from them to copy my passport. I've I make it bitter enough I suppose they might throw me £50 to make me go away...

Getting ready to get plastered

2008-06-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

Mondays & Tuesdays I have to pick the kids up at 5.30pm from the childminder. At 5.26pm on Tuesday I was still blocking up the gaps between the door linings and lintels (sawing through Celcon Standards and fixing them with tile adhesive - not normal procedure, but needs must) but still made it.

I thought this was the last item to do before the plasterers arrived today (and excellent proof of the rule that work fills the space you give it) until I remembered that I also had to cut out all the insulation poking up above the floor screed. So, back to site at 6am today (after number-crunching until 1am) to cut and clear.

I was hoping that the plasterers wouldn't arrive before 8am but they got there at 7.30am, muttering about ladders and health and safety. One of them wouldn't go up to the top floor until the scaffolding tower's in place. The jessie. Something about having fallen off a ladder before. (And he hasn't stood on my scaffolding tower yet - the ladder is a much more comfortable place to be).

However, they have given me a list of things to do for them to get on, including the unlikely task of "jamming bits of wood" into the exposed structural steel which will then hold plasterboard. Dream on.

I've also realised with something of a sickening feeling that I really ought to have the studwork around the bottom of the stairs sorted out. I had hoped to get that all in place once the stairs are in because I'm not sure exactly (as in down to the nearest five mil) where they'll go but a) I don't want to be plastering and decorating with nice exposed oak around and b) if I don't there will probably be a nasty join on one of the first flat walls you see when you walk in. So it's been back to the local DIY chain to buy more wood and another door lining and the alarm's set for 5.40am to beat the plasterers down there and to try to get the walls in place.

Final lap (sort of)

2008-06-02T22:46:00.001-07:00

One more working day before the plasterers move in (although they've cried off until Thursday, Wednesday is taken out with childcare... hmm, I wonder how the Girl would be with a nail gun).

By deciding to make a false wall, yet to be constructed, in the main bathroom entirely tiled rather than plastered, thus allowing it to be left for the moment & also removing the immediate need to construct all the drainage that'll be hidden behind it, I think I may meet my looming target. Yesterday most of the en suite was piped, studded and plasterboarded (although I'm rethinking one false wall in order to be able to get a more sensible amount of floor space), and loft hatch cut out.

Least fun part of the day was getting 30kg of toilet two storeys up a ladder: leaning backwards, it balanced on my chest, using my shoulders to keep it level. But I lived. I totally bottled getting out on the roof through the Velux, though, which means the £26 I spent on a roof hook was a waste (although, and this is something that traditionally "only ever happens to other people", half the items I bought at Wickes didn't appear up on the receipt). Instead, I've bunged the pipe internally which means the drainage will be tested and then, when the inspector isn't looking, I'll have to deconstruct part of the bathroom to take the bung out. Another problem booted into the near future, just out of sight...

Just another common or garden race against time day

2008-05-30T22:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know whether I wrote it or just thought it, but I did think that I probably had a day or so's more work to do before the plasterers arrive (now Wednesday) some days ago. I've probably done three days work since, and, partly because they were very sniffy about the possibility of coming back to do the bathrooms which means I've got to get water and waste pipes within walls, it now looks like I've got a couple of long days Monday & Tuesday (weekend is otherwise engaged).

Bathrooms apart, I've still got to complete speaker cable in the master bedroom, cut out a space for the loft hatch, plasterboard around the lower hatch covering up the underfloor heating manifold, sort out some large gaps between lintels and door linings on the ground floor. Doesn't sound much but on a truncated Friday all I got done was a bit of speaker cable, boxing a false wall for the bed to go against, and putting in cut outs in the plasterboard for cupboard doors to go in at some unspecified later date. A short list, but time-consuming.

One major headache facing me is how to pressure test the drains (which I really need to start doing now so that I know if something leaks what it is) without getting up on the roof to block the soil vent pipe. If I wasn't intent on hiding everything behind the walls then it wouldn't be too hard to use an inflatable bung which could then be pulled out the upper toilet, especially if I could get the NHS to joint my arm in an extra couple of places. As it is, I think I'm going to be out the Velux and on to the roof. Heights: I do not like.

Meanwhile, I've calculated that by getting the local window fitters in to fit the windows and doors, part paying them in cash, the remainder of which they seem to have forgotten about and then screaming like a girl until the supplier comes in and both fixes things and QAs the locals dodgy work (& still no word from Cheryl on what happens next and whether I owe anybody any more money) I've saved about £1100. Just at what cost to my sanity?

Come hell or high water

2008-05-28T11:44:00.000-07:00

Should be feeling a certain satisfaction, although all I'm feeling is the slog of getting the house to a state where I can let the plasterers loose next week, as the rainwater harvesting tank finally went below ground. This was one of the first items to be purchased back in the late summer last year and has been sitting on site ever since Weasel's men shifted it across the foundations last October. At least this entry isn't about trying to get it down the side of the house.

Meanwhile, I've finally paid for the windows even though there's a few odds and ends to be tied up. Maybe I have lost a negotiating position, but it's a few crossings of t's and dotting of i's on an almost £10k order that's been outstanding since March. I'm looking at it as meeting them halfway.

Sharon turned out to be Shaun the new inspector with crap handwriting. Was due on site today but cried off.

Subsidence: the feeling of the moral high ground falling away

2008-05-27T12:38:00.001-07:00

No longer sure where I stand regarding the windows.

The snagging list I produced for the fitters from High Seal Windows was comprehensive to the point of aggressive - every slightly sticking sash was on there. Arriving at 7.30am (which isn't bad from Scunthorpe) they went to work on both the list and the new windows and doors they had with them. I thought there'd be problems over the fixed, obscure glazed window as the frame arrived with no glazing, but that was driven down later in the day.

Turns out the sticking sashes had more to do with the way the local window fitters had put them in managing to buckle them slightly inwards at the centres through over enthusiastic use of foam filler and fixings. Being on the list the extremely professional and dedicated fitters felt honour-bound to fix them. Which they've done as best they can, but there are a few bits still to do.

Which leaves me in a delicate position. Sure, High Seal offered to send their own fitters to fit the new items, and I told them that there were items which the local fitters had left undone for good reasons... but I never expected them to start re-fitting the work of Langford Windows. So, will I get billed for this? Or will this all be part of the service? For once, Cheryl may be calling me.

Added to which I received a letter this morning from debt collectors threatening to take me to court over the unpaid window bill...

An inspector calls. Sort of.

2008-05-26T13:12:00.000-07:00

Partly due to the crap weather, partly due to an intense feeling of running on empty, partly due to pressing number crunching work, I decided to restrict myself to doing a full and thorough snagging list of the windows, getting the last of the plasterboard in (one of my three headaches finally gone), and doing a bit of light site tidying.

It was during the latter that I found myself sweeping up a business card from the building inspector with a note on it signed by 'Sharon' saying, please call to arrange an inspection.

This is confusing on two fronts. Firstly, you may remember in mid-March I was trying to get hold of the inspector to ask him what he needed to see next. Very breezily he said, oh, nothing until the final inspection. So why the request for an inspection? And who was on site to slip a card through the letterbox? Gary the inspector? So why didn't he try the door - it was open? Or Sharon? But isn't she just the admin gopher? So what was she doing in Bedfordshire when the office is in Kent?

Secondly, of all the means of communicating - e-mail, home or mobile phone, snail mail to the correspondence address, Derren Brown-style subliminal messaging - dropping a 3cm by 5cm card with a pencil message onto the floor of a building site seems one of the least likely to succeed. How long had it been there? God alone knows.

Given that last Tuesday most of the inner workings were hidden behind plasterboard and next Tuesday the remaining workings, together with all the plasterboard, get hidden underneath render and plaster, I will be a severely unhappy self-builder if it turns out that card had been lying there for weeks with nobody bothering to follow it up and I need to open something up for inspection. Watch this space.

It is with some pride that we announce...

2008-05-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

...the birth (or maybe just conception) of a new kitchen. And, as befitting an architect-designed one-off residential property it's from exclusive and renowned kitchen suppliers and fitters Block & Quayle. Yep, that's B&Q to you and me.

You may have noticed a certain lack of mention of kitchens in the blog to date. That's because I've left the pleasure of choosing said item to the good lady wife. I did try to upset the apple cart by lobbying for the Moben Kitchen that the first salesman we had round for a pleasant evening of coffee and CAD design drew up for us. This was, in fact, exactly the same kitchen we'd left behind in Kingston. Other people get new kitchens for their houses. No, we could have built a new house and had the same kitchen.

We also had Kitchens Direct around on the understanding that they now had no connection with Moben. So when the man got out the self-same Moben doors... well, let's just say that I did get to see most of the European Cup final which I wasn't expecting.

My negotiation skills did let me down, though, when I did try to negotiate a discount as B&Q prices are strictly list, or so he said. I'm sure others would have tried harder, but I tried to let it go without appearing any more pushy and arrogant than usual.

The deal is supply and fit, so I don't have to worry about that, although zero-rating the VAT on the labour may be an issue. And if we get professionals in to decorate then all I'm personally left to worry about are bathrooms.

Is that light at the end of the tunnel or just another near-death experience...

That Was The Week That Was

2008-05-22T22:49:00.000-07:00

If my blogging has slowed down it has more to do having the distraction of 'proper', i.e. paid, work like a normal commuter who sits at a computer, than the fact that the build has slowed - although it was never really going very fast to start with. That, together with a sense of being punch drunk by the whole process and needing a break but, as they say, no sleep until... well, until we have bedrooms.

The tackers arrived on Tuesday, complained about my ability to put up resilient bars, and stuck most of the plasterboard up. To be honest, I haven't really had a chance to look at their work in great detail but I know that there are bits they haven't done because a few bits of studwork were missing, and holes that I need to cut out for loft hatches and cupboard doors. Plus some minor plumbing and electrics left to sink. Which is my work for one day next week after which it'll be in the hands of plasterers. At least, that's the plan.

Meanwhile, the window fitters are due back on Tuesday to deliver and fit the missing doors and windows and - this is where it gets tricky - finish off the fitting left undone by Langford Windows either because it required the missing items, or because it was too cold at the time for the mastic to cure. Not sure they've fully taken on board what the additional items add up to.

The garden is also being scraped on Tuesday and the rainwater harvesting tank sunk and drainage all being joined together. Only one quote came in, and that missed out digging the foundations for the garden wall, so not sure what that'll add to the cost. A beggars can't be choosers situation.

In an effort to keep costs down I decided to play slightly cute and wait for the invoice for last month's floor screeding to come in (I offered to pay the workmen on the day but they said wait for a bill). When it did, it was £75 higher than what was quoted (albeit the quote was off my measurements and the rate per square metre was what I was expecting). Maybe if I'd put a cheque in early then he wouldn't have chased for the extra.

No such luck with the tackers. They dropped the invoice in on their way home...

Go on, you know you want to...

2008-05-16T12:55:00.000-07:00

http://www.hatched.co.uk/property_details.asp?id=1151&index=1&max=1

My house leaks

2008-05-15T13:35:00.001-07:00

Gloss rather taken off birthday by finding puddles of water on the first floor - water running down the inside of the 400mm sunpipe. Quick call to Ivan to get Reno on to the case - Ivan thinks I'm merely chasing up a quote for the back garden. Buggered if I'm getting up a ladder and going on to the roof.

Gloss further taken off the day by failing to kill off all the tasks needed before the plasterboard can be tacked up. Still have one small room in which to put resilient bars up; insulation in that and the hallways; complete and test flow and return to the first floor UFH. And there are probably a dozen or so other piddling little jobs for tomorrow when, incidentally, the sparkies are returning to remove the shaver socket from (what will be) our shower.

More gloss removed by failing to find an invoice for the plasterboard I've already got stacked out front meaning that a) it'll be difficult getting the VAT back later, but more immediately, b) I don't know how short of board I am. The tacker has made it quite plain that he can cope with almost any eventuality except not having enough board. I suppose counting it would be a traditional approach...

2008-05-12T14:03:00.000-07:00

To misquote Churchill, I think we've left the end of the beginning and can start to see the beginning of the end.

The underfloor heating has now been pressure tested on the second floor and, if the gauge doesn't drop much below 3 bar by tomorrow morning on the first floor, then that can be ticked off as well. As the air temperature rose (all together now... oh, what a scorcher) the pressure dropped alarmingly, but I had the same thing on the second floor heating and I'm damned if I'm running round like a blue-arsed proverbial over-tightening everything in sight again. Did have a nice Das Boot moment, though, when one of the pipes blew off the manifold at four atmospheres...

The resilient bars which separate plasterboard from joists is up in three rooms out of four on the first floor and the maze of wires and pipes that make up the first fix is now being hidden underneath mineral wool never, ever, ever (please God make this true) to be seen again. Just need to complete those, plus a few bits of plumbing - the flow and return to the second floor manifold, making sure pipes are accessible when the emerge into the bathrooms - and replace a wire that I managed to twist round a 25mm drill bit like spaghetti round a fork.

I managed a more-or-less 8am to 8pm day today, albeit punctuated by a two and a half hour lunch (and, in keeping with the cliches of village life, the barmaid at the local where the Good Lady Wife and I went turned out to be our plasterer's wife). Hopefully, with another couple of days like that the build will be ready for tacking the plasterboard. The tacker is lined up for 20 May and I have no intention of not being ready for that date. My project plan is so light on specific milestones that I'm not going to let that one slip.

Managed to take the weekend off, although a self-builder is never really off work, as evidenced by the Boy and I taking part in a digger challenge at a local fair, a wonderfully 1970s throwback of an event before everybody became uppity about health and safety. Also managed to pick up a pair of wire lights at a car boot for a tenner which should save quite a few quid, although the sparkies will probably raise their eyebrows.

On my unholy trinity of headaches, stairs, windows and the stack of plasterboard out front, Cheryl didn't call back. Somebody called, I think, Mick did and told me that all our windows will be sorted out on 14th May. And then Cheryl called and said it would be the 27th. I told her Mick had said the 14th. She said she'd check and call back in ten minutes. Twenty-four hours later she called back to say that Mick can't read (I'm paraphrasing) and that it'll be the 27th for definite. High Seal Windows - the Greek curse you won't find in Herodetus.

Things have gone quiet on the stair front. The bespoke sawmill round the back of Tescos who we can't afford haven't provided a quote (I think they could tell); our new Wolseley Self-Build rep is about as proactive as a paving slab, so I'm not holding my breath in anticipation of a quote from Jeld-Wen; and Magnet... I've just taken against them. So it looks probable it'll be from the Polish bloke in Manchester who tried to line up a viewing of an oak staircase for us in West London but his client had it sensibly wrapped up pending plastering. Waldemar is looking for another example of his remarkably cheap work to show us, but has gone a bit silent.

And the plasterboard? As the tacker is coming on the 20th it may as well stay there.

Livid (part 2)

2008-05-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

As if to illustrate the criminal inefficiency of the plumbers I had last week, in the two and a half days that I've put in since their intervention I've:

taken out a large part of the pipework they put in, rerunning it according to the manufacturer's plans
completed the pipework for the last two zones
connected everything up to the first floor manifold barring the missing connector
pressure tested the second floor (which continued to lose pressure at such a slow rate that no water leakage showed up - so the optimist in me is putting it down to pressure changes due to temperature change through the day)
installed and pressure tested the pipework to feed rainwater to washing machine & toilets
installed cold water supply until I ran out of Speedfit pipes, inserts and joints
began to install domestic hot water supply and flow and return to the second floor underfloor heating manifold.

So that's kind of what I was expecting from two blokes who know what they're doing. Does this make me demanding? I reckon another three or four days and the first fix will be completed and we'll be ready to start hanging plasterboard off resilient bars (yet to be fixed).

Meanwhile, I've also been chasing up the window situation. Having phoned up High Seal Windows and pressed all the right buttons for sales to talk to Cheryl who keeps promising me phone calls from people who know what's going on who never call back, I decided to call customer service and raise my voice if necessary.

This, plus a call to Build Centre through whom the order has been placed (who I don't want to turn into a go-between, but if that's what it takes...) resulted in a callback from... Cheryl. Oh, she said, we were going to deliver all your bits tomorrow but, given the farce (my word, not hers) we'll get our fitters to fit everything for you as long as you pay for supply. Trouble is, our fitters are on a month-long lead time.

But, I say, I'm expecting your fitters to come in any case to sort out the snags with the bits of the order you did get right. Oh yes, she says, we've only just been informed of that.

So I read out the bits of my e-mails from 4th and 25th April which clearly says 'when are you going to get your bloody fitters to my site as agreed'.

She can't argue with that. She's calling back in the morning with a date. Or maybe not...

Livid

2008-05-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

I'm going to have to try to ensure that in the course of this posting I neither resort to swearing nor begin to sound like one of those people who sit in bus stations dribbling and shouting in the belief that they're Napoleon. So, in an attempt to restrain myself, I'll try to stick to the facts and see how I go.

On Thursday both a carpenter and plumber (plus mate) were due. Wednesday night I prepared a list of prioritised things that needed doing together with plans for both of them. The carpenter promised to come to our current house at 8am to pick up the list, the plumber was due on site at lunchtime.

The carpenter arrived as scheduled and, when I went down later in the morning, was getting on with things efficiently and effectively. He queried a few things and he spotted a few things - like the need for extra noggins for the resilient bars. In short, he displayed and applied some degree of intelligence to the job.

The plumber phoned Thursday lunchtime to say he wouldn't be coming until Friday.

We were only due to have the carpenter for a day, but due to other work being rescheduled, he was available the next day to finish the first fix. Fine. He'd be there at 8.30am, the plumber would be there at 8am.

The carpenter turned up at 8am, the plumber at 8.15am.

On the list of things for the plumber and apprentice were:

1. Install soil pipe
2. Install underfloor heating pipes under 1st floor:
a. finish screwing in metal plates
b. clip in pipes from location of manifold in stairwell as per Nu Heat manual
3. Run 22mm Speedfit piping for flow and return to underfloor heating manifold in first floor ceiling/under second floor.
4. Run 22mm dhw to both bathrooms
5. Run 15mm cold water to both bathrooms
6. Connect 1st floor underfloor heating pipes to manifold (temporarily attached to wall), flush & pressure test

and I explained that I thought the apprentice could get on with item 2 whilst the plumber did the rest, but far be it from me to tell them their job. Yes, it was an ambitious list (particularly for only a day), even with two of them. But better that than running out of work after lunch.

When I popped onto the site a couple of hours later the good news was that the soil pipe was in, but the plumber was standing in a sea of underfloor heating pipe whilst the apprentice just sort of sat there, staring into space. They were having some trouble with the pipe. I told them the manual had suggested ways of fitting the pipes and told them the important thing was to get the pipes - plus the flow & return, and hot & cold - through the kerto.

Oh no, they didn't have a drill that could do that. There was some vague suggestion of hiring one. I said, yes, please do that.

I went to write the carpenter a cheque and said was I being unreasonable expecting them to be able to put pipes through bits of wood. He gave me the names and numbers of a couple of plumbers who came with more than just opposable thumbs.

Later, in London, I get a call from them saying that they can't get the pipe to run back from the utility room to the stairwell where the manifold will be. This is baffling as the pipes are supplied over length and the ones for all of the nine zones I'd already done were more than adequate. I left it with a "See what you can get done".

The next day I go to site to see what they've done. It's reminiscent of that Woody Allen joke about life being full of heartache, misery and disappointment - and it's over so quickly. All they've managed to do, over and above the soil stack, is get two zones of pipework in. No water to bathrooms or upstairs underfloor heating. Even I, on my own, a non-plumber, would get more than that done.

Not only that, the pipework bore only limited resemblance to the plans. Pipework for one bedroom carried on quite unnecessarily through the supporting wall to the bathroom beyond which are clearly in two different zones.

Not only that, they labeled one set of pipes as being for a dining room. Had they no concept that they may be working in what will be the dining room but by putting the pipes in the ceiling space they're installing the underfloor heating for the floor above? 'Underfloor'. It's all in the name. They couldn't possibly have been following the ground floor plans because that's a different size and shape. Could they?...

Not only that, in setting out two zones they managed to damage the pipe, meaning cutting and joining and thereby risking leakage, TWICE. I'd only managed that once in the previous nine zones.

Not only that... had any pipes been put through the kerto? Does the Pope shit in the woods?

So my bank holiday Sunday was spent ripping out 75% of their work and reinstating the pipe as best I could. And given that they had (I think) cut one pipe too short for how it was meant to be run, I had to redesign the hallway heating slightly. And I still don't know whether the pipes they've left for the remaining two zones are the right ones or whether there's an 80m pipe for the playroom which needs a 90m pipe.

Muppets. Muppets. Muppets.

The carpenter's been paid and will be back for the second fix. If the plumbers want paying they can take me to court.

Light at the end of the tunnel (or through still missing windows)?

2008-04-29T15:58:00.001-07:00

Worked like a Trojan from 7.40am to 5.25pm (alright, with an hour for lunch). The second floor underfloor heating is now complete barring fixing the cut pipe (connectors in the post), flushing and pressure testing. The plates for the first floor are now missing about twenty screws, after which the plastic pipe can be clipped into place. Perfect work for the apprentice plumber on Friday, including the eight holes needed through the kerto. He'll love me for it.

Good day, bad day

2008-04-28T07:20:00.000-07:00

Electricians look like they've almost completed their first fix: the Delta 8 cabling is in and I've managed to stop them installing an alarm system we didn't specify. (Good day)

Carpenter has confirmed Thursday. (Good day)

Weasel, bless 'im, has replaced the broken inspection cover and, witnesses tell me, has nosed around the back in order to quote for scraping the back garden and sinking the rainwater harvesting tank. (Good day)

We're now legal!!! Yes, the Council have written to say the drainage condition has been met. Yes, folks, we can now BUILD A HOUSE. (Good day).

The underfloor heating is being an absolute pain in the arse. It took me about an hour to drill through a kerto beam and feed the pipe through because of I-beams either side making it awkward (and I'll have the same problem on the first floor as well). I then realised that, because of the pipe runs, I could either feed about 50m of pipe through the kerto (take maybe three hours, assuming the skin would stay attached to my palms) or try to feed about 90m of pipe through the I-beams from hole to hole. I went for the latter and, as the plastic piping wants to regain its rolled shape, it, of course, kinked to such an extent that I've had to cut it. Hence I'm now waiting on a phone call back from Nu Heat to tell me how to join two bits of pipe together. So it won't be all done & pressure tested for Tuesday. Maybe the following Tuesday... (Bad day).

Still, that makes it a good day by a 4-1 margin.

Things to make and do - just not by me

2008-04-27T12:51:00.000-07:00

Of course, one person can't build a house and I don't want to give anybody the impression that I'm so bloody minded that I'm trying to do it all on my own. No, far from it. I'm trying to do almost all of it on my own. But there's an army of tradesmen and subcontractors just waiting for me to engage them. So this is how I'm doing on that front.

Electricians
Have returned to site and the first fix is going ahead relatively smoothly, albeit only the traditional lights and sockets seem to have been catered for so far. We only cracked open the box of delta 8 last week, and I think I pointed in the general direction of the underfloor heating electrics (for which they, of course, need me to finish off the heating pipes and get the manifolds in place - by Tuesday evening, I promise).

Carpenter
Promised to let me know when he could reschedule for by Thursday. It's now Sunday and he hasn't returned my call.

Window fitters
Waiting on me to let them know when the replacement windows will arrive for which I'm waiting on High Seal Windows. As I've had to place the order via Build Centre lines of communication are convoluted and my ability to negotiate, particularly on the fittings issue, is difficult. I've been quoted £424 for the new window and £31 for the replacement glazing units, which seems bizarre. It's difficult for me to go direct back to High Seal to query these as these will have been modified - upwards - by Build Centre (they need to make their money too).

Plasterer & plasterboarders
Just a phone call away. Sort of. So they tell me. But as they're not the next trades I need it's inevitably all sweetness and light there...

Groundworkers
Only had one firm round to look at the site for sinking the rainwater harvesting tank, doing the drainage & scraping the garden. And I haven't seen a quote from them yet. No response from Weasel or Ivan, either.

Spending quality time with grout whitener

2008-04-26T15:21:00.000-07:00

The week just receding into hazy memory has 'UFH' scrawled against it on the calendar from when I had confidence that I'd get the underfloor heating in with a view to getting on with first fix plumbing the following week and - and this is where it gets funny - starting to get the plasterboard up from sometime before any milk dated for the bank holiday starts to form lumps in my coffee.

But as we're looking at getting the current house on the market next week (God help us if it sells quickly, God helps us if it doesn't sell at all) I've been sorting out the snags here, as well as giving it curb appeal by again reducing the 16 tonnes of gravel delivered to site back in the autumn.

Plus my so-called proper (i.e paid) work is beginning to take over again (11.30pm, Saturday and I'm working on spreadsheets... err, hold on, no I'm not, I'm updating this, but you know how it works). Which may pay for our flatscreen telly, but when will I get to watch it?

So nothing much happening at present.

Fat Gordon claims another half pound of flesh to balance his increasingly impossible to balance books

2008-04-24T05:50:00.000-07:00

Oh, sorry, does that sound bitter? Well, as they say, cheer up, it may never happen.

For those of you who don't sleep with a tax code by your bedside, one has a year in which to build a house and make it your principle private residence or be liable for capital gains tax (CGT) on the value you add between the first anniversary of getting the plot and moving in. (I may have this wrong but that's my take).

Well, I've just had a letter from a "Mr Chuck" of the Revenue. Remember my letter to the taxman saying we wouldn't be through building in a year and could we have another twelve months? Well, it clearly was sent, and now Mr Chuck has asked what the 'good reasons for the delay' are in order to consider even thinking about contemplating an extension.

Has Mr Chuck ever actually attempted to build a house? Including going through planning (which, okay, we didn't need to do but did)? I think eighteen months is just fine. Yes, it's going a bit slowly, but mainly because I'm bloody minded and determined to get the underfloor heating in myself. In fact, if we were actually waiting for all the pre-construction conditions to be satisfied it would still be a vacant plot (yes, the drainage condition is still not signed off). But I wouldn't say its 'delayed'.

Having said that, Anglian Water have sent a bill for both water (fair enough) and sewerage (we have no toilets and the waste pipes are still taped over), so both them and the TV licence people think we should be through by now. And now the taxman. Maybe 'Society' is trying to tell me something...

I'm never, ever, ever going to pick up a brick again. Ever.

2008-04-22T15:24:00.000-07:00

Probably not true, but it's nice to dream.

With spring feeling like it's here at last (although it pulled that trick on us a few weeks back and then snowed) I finally got all the bricks (2600 may-or-may-not-be Arlesey Whites, plus all the whole reclaimed Gaults from the garage which weren't used making it good again, and all the undamaged left over Anglian Light Blends) moved from the end of the garden to next to the house. This will allow the foundations of the garden wall to be dug and brickies, yet to be identified, to put the wall up.

It also means that the only thing in the way of getting the garden scraped, those foundations dug, and the rainwater harvesting tank sunk is getting the quotes in. Only one guy has shown up, and I haven't had anything back from him. Nothing from Ivan. And nothing from Weasel (do you think he he's found this blog? If you have Weasel, I'm thinking about contacting the Federation of Master Builders to see if that persuades you to replace the dodgy inspection cover in front of the house...)

Meanwhile, the sparkies were inside continuing the first fix. The underfloor heating pipes remain under pressure, so nothing nasty happened in the screeding process. Still no word from the plasterer, although I'm sure he drove past when I was cutting the lawn (must make the house look good, it's going on the market in a fortnight - anybody want a four-bed link-detached in SG18 for less than £300k??).

Visitors, invited and otherwise

2008-04-21T07:43:00.000-07:00

Given that I'm only on site maybe 25% of the average working week, if that, I wonder how many important, but unscheduled and unannounced, site visits I've missed. I've had various utilities suddenly arrive over the last few months, including Anglian Water to check out our water pipes internally ("err, there aren't any..."), and now BT have been around to confirm that we're in a state to start turning the main road into a recreation of the Somme.

As it turned out, no, we aren't ready because the ducting Weasel has put in is unacceptable. Or rather, it ends unacceptably as it just sticks apologetically out of the ground rather than butts up to the house. This led to me starting the day by digging up the last metre or so of the ducting and rejigging the whole thing. Gee, thanks. And he still isn't talking to me over clearing the back and replacing the inadequate inspection cover which is an injury waiting to happen.

Looking forward, though, to the visit of the TV licence detector van. Yes, we've already received a stern letter at the site address ordering us to stop curling up on the (non-existent) leather armchair in front of the (non-existent) 48" plasma screen or else the licence enforcement nazis will be around. They're welcome. As we don't even have power yet I can't see this one going to court.

Meanwhile, on the up-side, the screeding was completed on Sunday morning, although I haven't paid them as yet. They've left a very large and annoying pile of sand and bags of cement (which may get used for the toolshed). And we won't be pushed for payment by Wolseley for the doors and windows until the front door and all the other bits of snagging is sorted out.

On the downside, the carpenter's cried off for tomorrow and the plasterer hasn't returned my call. Hell, as Sartre so rightly pointed out, is other people.

Looking suspiciously like good project management...

2008-04-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yes, giving the extremely false impression that I'm in control of events, the skip departed Thursday afternoon to be swiftly replaced by a plastic sheet at the request of the floor screeder (who did show up), followed by a pile of sand today. Things have slipped slightly in so far that the screeder is now coming Sunday, not Saturday (must remember to tell the neighbours).

Meanwhile, the ground floor underfloor heating pipes are not only in, but hold pressure. All the plates are in upstairs and half the pipes are clipped in place (an absolute sod of the thumbs).

Elsewhere, I've chosen a plasterer (second labour only quote came in 20% above the first), and the plumber says he can give me a day week after next, but he doesn't like John Guest Speedfit pipes & fittings. Tough, I've just bought a job-lot of the things on eBay...

Bits & bobs

2008-04-16T02:52:00.000-07:00

Most of these posts concern reasonably sized chunks of work, but just to give you some impression of the minutiae that this whole self-build thing involves, here's a few tasks on my list of things to make & do that have been ticked off this morning before I go off to pressure test the underfloor heating (read it & weep later - you read, I'll weep...)

writing to the planners to get them to agree that we've finally met all our pre-construction conditions (oh whoops, I appear to have built a house...)
writing to the taxman to get them to extend out capital gains tax exemption period (suspiciously, both the previous letters to planners & taxman were dated the same which probably means that they're still tucked down the back of the Girl's pushchair)
arranging for the skip to go
chasing up the screeders to confirm arrangements for Saturday (they were meant to come to site yesterday but never made it)
writing to the neighbours to warn them of impending skip truck and cement mixer
talking to the carpenter to confirm exactly what I'm ordering when it comes to window boards
chasing up the new plumber to see whether he's even willing to do any work on the house (why do they always go off to London? that's where the other one went when he went awol)
arranging the plasterboarder for early May (only needs three days notice, so he says, which I think gives me time to first fix the plumbing, unless a plumber turns up)
talking to High Seal Windows to clarify what it is I'm signing off ("What does FOC stand for?", "Free of charge", "Oh...") which was probably a lucky move as our window which has to be obscure and toughened and was only obscured before was due to turn up only toughened this time
scanning and sending back the order to Build Centre (sorry, I don't do faxes)
letting the window fitters know the state of play and asking them to chase up the plasterer they recommended

The continuing epic that is the underfloor heating

2008-04-14T12:38:00.000-07:00

A day here, a day there. A few hours grabbed between the telephone calls & e-mails that constitute 'working at home'. And is the underfloor heating in?

No, of course not. But it's getting there.

I've now got about 75% of the plates which hold the heating pipes below the first and second floors in, and, of the plates that are up, about 75% of the screws that hold them. Which means another... oh, about a thousand screws. A couple more days of that, and that'll be sorted.

As for the ground floor, all the insulation is down and today it was covered in the waterproof membrane required by building regs, and the pipes began to go down surprisingly easy. This is the bit that absolutely has to be down and tested by the end of the week. In about twenty minutes we went from this...

...to this.

So that's one bit that's on schedule.

Help us help you to beat the credit crunch

2008-04-14T03:02:00.000-07:00

I do like to check back at the blog and see whether anybody's left any comments. And, lo and behold, there are a couple on a posting from a week or so ago. But, go to them and they invite me to spend $69 (not sure whether this is before or after I activate my 50% off voucher) on filling in questionnaires which people will eventually pay millions for.

Hold on. Do I look that stupid? (Okay, so I became a property developer just before the market went tits-up, but the question was whether I look that stupid?)

In fact, you can fill in surveys for personal profit for free by joining YouGov. Click on this link http://my.yougov.com/go.aspx?id=24e95238-7f3c-428c-935a-1324b671fd03, join up, and they pay us the same as they pay you. You win, we win.

(And whilst we're on the subject of you helping fund our build, whilst I'm contractually not allowed to encourage you to click on the advertising links, thanks for the $2.15 you've generated for us so far. $2.15!!!! Gee.)

A busy fool...

2008-04-10T07:26:00.000-07:00

I probably fall into this category, doing vast amounts of menial work which could be better passed off to some local yokel as a minimal fee. So I've finally pulled my finger out and contacted groundworkers about clearing the back of the house, sinking the rainwater harvesting tank and getting the foundations in for the garden wall. I've also asked Ivan to quote (including building the wall, seemed rude not to, him being a brickie) and chased Weasel who promised a quote back in February but hasn't been heard of since.

A quick state of play round up of the other trades:

Electricians
Gone awol, won't return my calls. No idea how close we are to finishing first fix. I know we aren't there yet because we haven't first fixed the Delta 8. And, if they let me know when they're turning up, I'd give them the still sealed box of jiggery-pokery. Their sulk may have something to do with my indignant letter regarding the noggins. Or possibly my voicemail suggesting they may know something about the broken window.

Plumber
Apparently they (they being the only ones who called me back having left innumerable messages) came to site last week, looked around, and haven't called back.

Carpenter
Shifted back until 22nd. Hasn't had a chance to screw up yet, so I'm optimistic. The delivery of wood scheduled for Tuesday turned up this morning. Half as many lengths as I asked for, but each twice as long. Ho hum.

Note to self

2008-04-10T05:42:00.000-07:00

It's happened too often to be mere coincidence. A patio laid with slabs left over sufficient to stack them up to form a decent table. Two whole packs of bamboo flooring plus a roll of underlay left over from the extension: a bit more than mere wastage. And let's not mention 16 tonnes of gravel.

I'm now going to end up with a pack of 50mm insulation over, probably a bit of 25mm and 12mm too. At least Wolseley should be able to take back the whole pack. With the flooring we're looking at coming in at anything over £25 per square metre (not much to report from our visit to the sawmill other than the fact there was no sawmill there, just a showroom) more accurate measuring than I usually display of the floor area may be the order of the day.

Wood, like time, is money.

Whatever. Just send me new windows.

2008-04-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

The slightly dusty and befuddled area sales manager from High Seal Windows appears to have been taken off our case and young, thrusting Cheryl has taken over. How she must long to get the hell out of Scunthorpe.

I've 'conceded' that we'll accept the opening window in the bathroom (which is what we'd prefer, even if it's in breach of our planning permission - we can get that sorted out later) and placed an order for two new windows - a correctly sized one for the utility room and a new, fixed, toughened one for the landing. May have to bark at customer services a bit more to get them to see that in not making them make up a new bathroom window I'm looking for some mutual back-scratching, money-wise, from them. Trouble is, having to put the order through Build Centre means that they're back at arms length from me, making negotiation difficult.

Watch this space. (It may even get filled by a window...)

"Don't hate me if I cut you off"

2008-04-07T03:36:00.001-07:00

One of the strangest turns of phrase I've heard, said by a HighSeal Windows yokel trying to put me through to their sales director. May be a Lincolnshire thing. Suffice to say, sales director was only on voicemail and hasn't returned my call.

Let's park windows there for the moment, other than just a brief note that I've informed our insurers of the broken window. And they've informed me of the £250 excess which, perversely, means that I probably won't be able to claim but, given it's broken anyway, if somebody came around and smashed the rest of the glass, the frame, and all of the window that I mismeasured then I would probably be financially slightly ahead of the current situation. This, by the way, is not an invitation to come and trash our half-built house.

Meanwhile, I've arranged for the floor to be screeded on 19 April, which is as close to scheduling as I like to get. This means that I have to get the ground floor heating in and pressure tested by then.

I've also reviewed the £4200 plastering quote against 2004 market rates which should have come out around £3100. Add on a bit for treating the walls (those impossible to plaster Celcons), wiring over cracks, the inconvenience of the stairwell, and four years of inflation and it begins to look okay-ish. I was meant to be called by another plasterer over the weekend but wasn't. But the one that quoted took some time to get the quote in, so I'll give him another few days. But looks like I'll need to nail it down pretty swiftly.

Wood ordered for the carpenter who's arriving on Friday (would be embarrassing if I hadn't). And we've pencilled in a trip to a sawmill on Wednesday to talk wood floors.

And if nobody calls me to talk about the data I'm collecting for the 'proper' 'day' job then I'll go back off to site to carry on with the underfloor heating plates...

Our red front door and other tales of woe

2008-04-05T12:06:00.000-07:00

The sales manager from the window company managed to conspire to turn up at some time other than the 10am when he said he was turning up which meant that I missed him and the window fitters showed him the snags. In addition to all that he was shown we've found:

The front door, which was meant to be red with chrome fittings inside is wood effect with gold inside. (100% their fault, although I hope I haven't cocked up because I told the fitters to fit it because the frame is correct, assuming that the door can be unscrewed from the hinges - watch this space)

The utility window is 50mm too narrow and needs to be replaced. (At first glance 100% my fault as I measured them, but the fact that I was so out mystified me until I realised that I'd simply measured the cavity closer they'd supplied which was narrower than the window would be by 50mm because it's adjacent to door, so I think the error is understandable. But this doesn't get past the fact that I'll have to pay for an extra window which will reduce the saving of not getting the windows on a supply & fit basis. Shit happens.)

Two windows that have to be fixed according to our planning permission are standard sashes, slightly complicated by the fact that one of them has been fitted, and the other has been broken whether due to vandalism (unlikely) or the (absent) sparkies dropping something off the scaffolding. (50% fault either way - my schedule clearly showed them to be fixed, but I did sign off the schedule...)

Otherwise it all looks fine. Much as I would have liked to hang out the bunting, metaphorically, to celebrate a watertight shell it looks like we may be taking a while to sort this one out...

Windows. Not the Bill Gates kind.

2008-04-02T12:19:00.000-07:00

Remember when I commented that getting the local window company to fit the windows may prove to be a false economy?

Well, not sure if it's not turning out to be a good thing, but not quite in a good way, as they started work today and didn't get very far, finding as they did various issues with the windows. No fittings had been provided. The screw covers for the external trickle vents don't fit. Some of the internal trickle vents won't fit, possibly because internal handles have been screwed into the frames in the wrong place. Georgian bars within the windows aren't quite long enough. A sash is cracked. Would the company's own fitters have found as many snags?

The first point was particularly galling given the following I wrote to the area sales manager in January: "I assume that you will be providing all the materials required for fixing over and above the windows & doors themselves. My window fitters have asked whether "fixing cleats" are required, or whether there are any fixings particular to Spectus windows that they should be aware of in advance. If the answer is particularly technical you may wish to give them a call direct..."

Obtuse? Incomprehensible? Or pretty bloody word-of-one-syllable simple? I keep forgetting that there's a high muppet count in this game.

So just when I should have been taking the kids to the playground I was making phone calls, ending up getting advice from the company's transportation manager. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, the area sales manager is due on site tomorrow morning and then we can work out what's inadequate by accident and what's just plain inadequate because that's how High Seal Windows make 'em.

Sp just how much does the Apprentice earn?

2008-04-01T14:10:00.000-07:00

Plumbers. God bless 'em. I think.

Current plumber turned up this lunchtime to pressure test the pipes. I just happened to be on site. Good thing I was as I wasn't prepared to sign off the work without seeing that the pipes held pressure. Considering that he'd gone silent for almost a week and then calls saying he'll be on site in fifteen minutes. At least his work turned out to be fit for purpose.

Had one electrician back today, as well. So that's the paranoid in me disproved.

Meanwhile, have discussed with another plumber getting him in for a day to sort out all the things that'll take me several days - soil pipe, water pipes, underfloor heating. And, in the process I got to find out how much the apprentice really earns. Plumber - £220 per day; plumber plus heating engineer - £300 per day; plumber, heating engineer plus apprentice - £340 per day.

Yes, you heard it here first. The apprentice gets £40 per day. And that's just the company day rate. How much do you think he gets? After tax as well? Sod all by the looks of things. You cheapskate Sir Alan.

Was it something I said?

2008-03-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

No plumber again today (and no response to my telephone message asking when he's coming back), and no electricians either. I knew they weren't going to be around on Friday, but thought they'd be back today. The paranoid in me thinks that it may be because of the letter I wrote the chief sparkie about the noggins. The rationalist in me thinks the paranoid will be proved probably right if they don't show up tomorrow. And almost certainly right if they're not there Wednesday.

So I took the opportunity - in between trips back to check PC and answerphone to see if anybody was expecting me to be 'working at home' - to continue laying the floor insulation and to start screwing the metal 'clippaplates' that hold the underfloor heating pipes against the subfloor.

I had a slightly uneasy feeling once I'd screwed half a dozen plates up when I realised that I was using 25mm screws on a 22mm subfloor. I climbed up to the first floor to check how far the screws had come through, only to find they hadn't. So, how does that work?

First anniversary...

2008-03-29T14:48:00.000-07:00

...of owning the plot which was celebrated by:

starting to lay the insulation on the ground floor over the water and gas pipes despite the plumber not having returned to pressure test them, even though he'd promised to do that last Wednesday (the same plumber who's booked for an 8am start and arrives sometime in the early afternoon)
slitting my finger open in the process cutting the 12mm edging sheet
selecting a carpenter and arranging for him to spend a day on site finishing the first fix on 11 April
being reminded by the good lady wife that we're planning to be away then
deciding that I'm going to get another plumber to commission the underfloor heating, fit the boiler, and sort out the soil pipe (for the reason, see the first bullet point)

It gets better

2008-03-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

The company supplying the Delta 8 home automation have now decided that they couldn't add up and their quote is about 40% too low. (I saw that the numbers didn't add up but assumed this was some sort of bulk discounting). I've suggested we split the difference...

Arrggghhh!

2008-03-27T14:03:00.000-07:00

Managed to get hold of a couple of carpenters who may be able to fit in a day's work over the next few weeks, one of whom was surprised that the stairs were not only not in, they weren't even on order. Stairs are first fix items, he said, they go in first. Otherwise, how are you going to get all your materials up to the upper floors? Exactly. Then why has every stair manufacturer told me that we have to have the place fully plastered out before they'll even measure up...

Is this some variation on a traditional Greek curse?

Electrical failures

2008-03-27T04:44:00.000-07:00

Remember the supplier of ultra-high tech home automation equipment who won't take a card over the phone? Yep, the cheque's gone missing in the post, so that's that delayed that by a fortnight, plus an annoying £10 charge to stop the cheque.

And, on the subject of all things electrical, I found on my 6.15am visit to continue the studwork (which resulted in a feeling of 'sod this for a game of soldiers, I'm going to get a chippie in for a day', which further resulted in lots of chippies laughing at me as they're all booked until June) that the back boxes for switches and sockets were going in at 1200mm and 450mm off the floor respectively.

I, however, had been putting in noggins at 300mm and 1400mm, and had let the electricians know this by e-mail three weeks ago. Nobody had come back to me to tell me that this contravened building regs (disabled access, although quite how the cripples will make it up to the first and second floors I'm not sure).

I've now written to the chief sparkie to tell him that I do not expect to be charged for the additional studwork that the electricians on site have had to do. Will see how that goes down in due course...

To plaster or not to plaster, that is the question

2008-03-26T06:31:00.000-07:00

In amongst the various plumbers and electricians we had a plasterer visit the site yesterday who (via the dry-liner) has said that we can't plaster with the blocks we've used, we've got to plasterboard. This is after I tell the plumbers and the sparkies that we're going to plaster (makes more difference to the sparkie's first fix than what the plumbers are doing).

So, this morning, I pass the word to the electricians which means that they don't have to do so much chasing of the wiring into the walls.

I've now checked with Celcon whose website says that you can plaster over the blocks. So I talk to the plasterer direct who says yes we can, as long as we're happy with some cracking. Given that we've had a shell since the new year, most of the settling cracks are out by now, so I'm inclined to plaster.

So, back to the electricians (just in time to watch the one who looks like the Nazi postboy from The Sound of Music flick a rubber glove into the neighbour's garden with a piece of wood - not sure what that was about) to tell them. They, of course, have all the boxes on the walls as that's all you have to do for plasterboard.

I scamper off before they can think too much about their reaction...

Like buses coming along at once

2008-03-25T02:53:00.000-07:00

Somewhat frustrating day yesterday when I made a start on the pallet of plasterboard (even our neighbour has asked when it's going, more out of concern for the board that for reasons of access): cutting it at ground level and hauling up the scaffolding tower by hand and screwing it to the studwork at the top of the stairwell. Frustrating because it's one of those jobs that clearly takes far less than half the time with twice the manpower.

Not without risk, either, given that much of it had to be done at the top of the scaffolding tower which had to be untied from the studwork thus making it, in effect, a six metre high wobbleboard.

There was a particularly frustrating moment when I realised, just at the point of getting one board safely on to the second floor, that my fingers could no longer hold it (that's the problem with plasterboard - nothing to hold on to) and I couldn't get my other hand to it without falling off the ladder, so I had to let it go. To the concrete floor it crashed.

Ended up tacking half a dozen boards and feeling like the whole thing will take forever and that I should have lined up somebody weeks ago to do this, but if I talk to anybody now they won't be available for weeks so I may as well get on with it.

Feeling slightly more positive this morning as, in the cold light of day, there's really just a bit of studwork to finish off and a little bit of boarding, and that's the stairwell done. All I need to do is work out where the stairs are going for the electricians to do the first fix, and we're ready for plaster.

Talking of electricians, I was on site at 8am this morning waiting for the plumber when the sparkies showed up. No sign of the plumber, though, who's had to go to London but will be back by lunchtime, although didn't see this as any reason to call me. So, come this afternoon we'll have sparkies and plumber on site, plus the windows, doors and underfloor heating are all arriving today. Busy, busy, busy.

White Easter

2008-03-23T15:21:00.000-07:00

But the new foundation slab seems to have survived.

http://www.slide.com/r/QorxOf2r5j9xuBL1ZY_Rffbl-iIoTJIL?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url&view=original

Bob the Builder says reduce, reuse, recycle

2008-03-22T13:49:00.000-07:00

I think when I look back at the build I'll probably score myself about five out of ten for environmental friendliness. Whilst we've super-insulated the house (well, the top & bottom), and will recycle rainwater, it's still a brick and block house. And bricks & blocks take a lot of energy to produce. And smart ideas like sheep's wool insulation, heat pumps and whole house ventilation systems went off the radar some time ago.

However, one area I haven't been too bad at is recycling with lots of materials being reused (bricks & wood from the demolished garage) or taken to the local recycling centre (e.g. wooden pallets) rather than being skipped.

I'm trying to extend this approach to the toolshed which will be built with left over bricks, blocks, tiles, SIP panels, and wood. In fact I'm going to try not to buy anything in order to make it, apart from the doors which I will have to source (could have held on to the door from the old garage which went on eBay).

I started the process off by digging out the foundations and mixing and pouring the concrete by hand (keeping that carbon footprint small, although I may have added to the NHS's future burden as my back feels like somebody's put a mallet into it) using sand from the initial truckload which the builders had not used (I don't think they realised that there was a tarp underneath it so they could go right to the bottom of the pile) and leftover bags of cement which would otherwise have been skipped. Quite proud of my efforts at screeding. But as the cement was best before 5 February, and we've had snow and freezing temperatures since I'm slightly concerned over the integrity of my construction.

Oh well, at least I have the skip parked just next door to it to throw it all into if it does crumble like a hobnob in hot coffee...

Where are my bloody windows?

2008-03-20T02:20:00.000-07:00

One of the problems with ordering things via builders' merchants is that communication takes on shades on Cold war-era spy swaps: High Seal Windows won't talk to me about delivery dates because it's Build Centre, not me, that's ordered the windows & doors.

This is despite them being happy to call me directly; when I spoke to the design bloke last month delivery was going to be w/c 3 or 10 March. But nothing happened.

I then tried chasing, just to be stonewalled, lacking the Build Centre order number. I then got Build Centre to chase. High Seal spent ages coming back to Build Centre (last week-ish) to confirm Wednesday or Thursday this week. Normally you get 24 hours notice by phone (although, if you trawl back over this blog, you'll see that doesn't always happen) but no call came Monday. Being on site all day Tuesday & Wednesday I thought I'd either field a call or a delivery or both. But no.

On chasing this morning it turns out the company are 'waiting for some vertical sliders' (Huh?? I thought that's what they made) and it'll now be Tuesday or Wednesday next week.

Believe it when I see it.

Spaghetti junction

2008-03-19T13:48:00.000-07:00

Skip arrived bright and early, 7.45am, yesterday, the Shanks driver manoeuvring it into an unlikely spot, just behind the pallet of plasterboard (can't let too many entries go by without mentioning it).

Luckily, the Bathstore delivery, due at exactly the same time, was late, so I was back home to meet that as the boxes and baths were slowly... very slowly.... sorted out and passed to me. So slowly I lost count and am still not sure whether we've got everything. I scribbled on the docket that I'd only counted 33 items, whereas there seemed to be at least 36 listed, although six were down as 'bags' (??!).

Sides of house, and the rear half inside, cleared and back well and truly put out by stumps yesterday.

Today, swept the floors (don't want too much dust around if & when the windows get sealed in), cleared out internally, and set to work installing the pipework for the rainwater harvesting - one from tank to pump; one form pump back out to an external tap, and one from mains to tank to keep it topped up in times of drought - which will run under the floor insulation with the ufh pipes on top of that. A Northern Line to the ufh's Circle & District. Except that this was more like spaghetti junction. Took most of the afternoon to unravel and label.

Daylight having disappeared, I've now written to the Council asking them to clear the change to our window colour (should have done it about a month ago; windows possibly arriving tomorrow); to HM Inspector of Taxes to ask for an extension to our Capital gains Tax-free period (you have a year, after which any value you add to the plot is subject to CGT - we will have had the plot a year in just over a week's time); and to the sparkies with a cheque (maybe that's why they haven't started??).

Now I think I'll go and cook dinner. Yep, spaghetti.

Amazing what you can do when childminding

2008-03-17T13:25:00.000-07:00

requesting quotes from another two floor screeders
getting a quote off one of them (£850, making the £750 look good)
getting advice from an acoustic insulation company on scheduling the plasterwork when using resilient bars, and what underlay to use to get the best acoustic insulation without completely negating the underfloor heating
ordering insulation for the studwalls and another 25mm under the floor
taking receipt of said insulation on site and storing it in the build (with my almost four-year old labourer and two-and-a-bit manager)
chasing up the building inspector to find out what he needs to see next (yet to get back to me)
booking in plumber for next Wednesday to do the gas and water pipes under the ground floor insulation (and unbooking and rebooking him for Tuesday when he turns out to be double booked)
having long conversation with home automation designer about things we don't need and things we could have done with getting advice over had I not just written a cheque for Delta 8
getting a timeslot for the Bathstore delivery which coincides exactly with the arrival of a skip on site, so chances are the truck will bugger off back to the warehouse
failing to renegotiate delivery slot of Bathstore truck
(oh, and keeping two kids alive)

Are things coming together, or just congealing?

2008-03-16T13:57:00.000-07:00

The race I mentioned between the ufh and the electricians is currently being won by the underfloor heating with the full plans being e-mailed over Friday. They look fine, even if I wasn't quite expecting them to go underneath baths and wardrobes. At least they don't try to go through the sunpipes (must talk to the building inspector regarding insulating them... actually, must talk to the building inspector in any case: not sure what he last saw!).

Much as I don't like ringing tradesmen at the weekend, I don't mind so much when I can say 'I left a message during the week and you haven't got back to me', and in so doing got a quote from a local floor screeding company for covering the ground floor ufh pipework: £15 per square metre, so about £750. Seems steep as the Mark Brinkley book (an excellent read) suggests a figure of £11.80 per m2. But that is now four years old, and only 6% inflation takes it to £15 per m2. And if trade rates mirror house price rises, maybe it's not too bad...

I may get other quotes, I may not. Although I appreciate it'll probably keep a bit more of my brass in my pocket I'm too tired and jaded to do a round of phone calls, particularly when all you're doing is leaving messages and chasing. Unlike the beginning of the process when I got about ten quotes for skips, and remember the interminable search for those bricks at the right price...

Confused of Bedfordshire

2008-03-15T15:00:00.000-07:00

Had a meeting on site with a dry-liner this morning to price up getting the house dot & dabbed with plasterboard. Thing is, that's what I thought dry-lining is. But, no. Turns out he screws the stuff on to stud walls which, frankly, any muppet can do (as evidenced by the fact that I'm planning on doing so). But he did strongly advocate getting the place rendered & skimmed, rather than plasterboarded, which was my initial wish except all anybody seems interested in these days is boarding places out. As he works with plasterers he'll get the job priced up for me by them. Friendly fellow.

I went back to Mark Brinkley's Housebuilder's Bible to try to work out what the price will be, and I reckon about £5k all in. Will be interesting to see how close I am. But I also noticed Brinkley gives different pricings for dot & dabbing, skimming, and dry-lining plasterboard. And I thought at least two of those were the same thing. Now I really am confused.

I've also tried to work out how to co-ordinate getting the plastering of the stairwell done early to enable the stair people to measure up with first fix electrics (plumbing shouldn't affect it too much) and fitting the underfloor heating. Still very bewildered, but I think it may mean getting the sparkies to start, them holding them off for a week or so as the ground floor pipes go in and it all gets screeded over, or waiting to fit the ground floor pipes last. May just be a case of seeing what arrives first - ufh or a van full of electricians.

I've also tried to work out what to do with the plasterboard I've already got (which is beginning to feel like some modernist folly stuck out front). Given I want to use resilient bars to soundproof the ceilings, and all the manufacturers want me to double layer the board, I think I should be able to use all that I've got on studwork and ceilings. So, nothing wasted, even if I'll have had it about four months early...

Should I be concerned?

2008-03-13T14:45:00.003-07:00

After several exchanges of e-mail with a very nice man (as far as one can tell by e-mail) called Jason who was eager (given there was a sale in the offing) to confirm what I needed for a comprehensive Delta 8 home network, I order said network.

Given that I'm ordering this cutting edge technology from a web-based supplier I don't even bother to ask whether they accept credit cards. Credit cards? You must be joking. Cheque by snail mail, please. And we wonder why we're losing business to, well, just about everybody else.

Just to confirm that this nation really does run by clockwork, not like clockwork, in my long search for brushed chrome faceplates for the Delta 8 (they only do crappy white PVC) the technical helpdesk man at Schneider, the manufacturer, suggested that I source some blank faceplates and then get a mate of his to punch out the hole in the middle, although I may have to bulk out the insides with some sellotape. (I am not making this up.) Sellotape? This is about future-proofing a twenty-first century dwelling, not gluing together a pair of NHS glasses.

It's a sad day when 'made in Britain' implies what 'made in Taiwan' meant twenty years ago, and vica versa. I'm getting the next house prefabricated in Germany...

I'm not Spartacus

2008-03-13T03:09:00.000-07:00

I thought putting up the scaffolding tower would be the death of me (huzzah for towers1909direct from eBay for the swift delivery - http://shop.ebay.co.uk/merchant/towers1909direct) but it went up in a couple of hours, including nail gunning six inch nails into the boards to keep them on the scaffold (good source of future injury, particularly if I forget to mention it to the dry-liners and plasterers).

Another near-certain cause of fatal injury was painting the arch formers which also got done yesterday; leaning out of the second floor window openings in the tail end of the worst storm of the winter. At least it wasn't raining. Didn't have my camera with me, so now pictures yet either here or on the slideshow. They're looking a bit orange, especially at the back with the dark red downpipes (which are meant to complement the red front door, although you'll never see them together). I think it'll all come together when the windows are fitted - they should arrive just before Easter.

No, injury appeared from quite the opposite direction when I trod on a piece of wood with a large rusty nail in it whilst trying to do a bit of a tidy-up. Let's just say that if I were taking part in the slaves' revolt at Brundisium in 72BC I probably wouldn't be sticking my hand up and saying 'I'm Spartacus'. The way I felt, I'd probably be pointing & shouting 'Him with the chin: he's the one you want'.

Still limping.

Small steps forward

2008-03-11T15:29:00.000-07:00

Here I am, back at the computer working out something too tedious too go into, but which might eventually pay for a fridge. I suppose I could be in bed by now if I hadn't earlier in the day:

bought a scaffolding tower (£275 - huzzah!)
chased up the window order (they wouldn't talk to me because we've ordered through Build Centre, and they wouldn't talk to Build Centre because... actually, I have no idea)
chased up Weasel for a quote to polish off the various things at ground level
pencilled in the plumber to do the water and gas connections over which the insulation, and then pipes & screed will go

and wasn't determined to spend the day on site tomorrow putting up guttering, painting arch formers, and studding walls. And who said fun had gone out of fashion?

Just because he's Tommy Walsh's mate doesn't make it true

2008-03-10T15:17:00.000-07:00

Bravely ventured out of Bedfordshire at the weekend to the National Homebuilding & Renovating Show at Swindon. Didn't learn much I didn't already know (not because I know a great deal, but because there wasn't a great deal there that isn't at the permanent exhibition).

But I did watch a plastering skills session narrated by Tommy Walsh of non-prime time, non-mainstream TV shows, where the plasterer demonstrating said that not only has plaster a shelf life, so has plasterboard. And I've got dozens and dozens of boards of the stuff getting in the way...

I've now Googled what I thought was a quite unlikely statement to start with (why have bags of dry plaster a use-by date but board a manufactured date? why would the SIPs come ready plasterboarded without a warning to get them plastered asap? why would Ivan comment on my purchase of more cement (which also goes off) than I needed, but not the early purchase of plasterboard?) and, yes, I can find no reference to it. Total balls.

Lighting the blue touchpaper under a sparkie's arse...

2008-03-04T14:12:00.000-08:00

Well, not really. All I've done is left a message on their answerphone telling them that I've got all the studwork done that they need and can they turn their attention to my humble future abode posthaste. Except I phrased it so an electrician could understand.

Small, and potentially amusing, incident this morning whilst getting the studwork up to scratch on the second floor: Ivan sent his men round to collect the scaffolding tower that's featured previously on this blog. I say 'potentially' because it was actually quite dull in that they left me my (long & wobbly) ladder to go up and down on, but in the movie version of my life Alan and Peter would take down the scaffolding without realising that I was there leaving me stranded twenty feet up with 'hilarious consequences'...

Studwork isn't as interesting as it sounds

2008-03-03T13:27:00.000-08:00

Haven't done a thing about the scaffolding tower as yet, and the pallet of plasterboard remains a fixture outside the build, but have sent off plans for the underfloor heating, and the studwork is slowly emerging.

I hope to grab tomorrow morning and get all the studwork the sparkies need to do their bit before returning to the computer at a time when self-respecting consultants rise. Bearing in mind the forecast is for snow and a blisteringly cold northerly wind.

The electricians have told me to put the noggins for switches at 1200mm, but I think this is way too low (can't be to do with requirements to reach from a wheelchair unless it's going to float up the stairs) so I'm doing them at 1400mm. If they don't like it they can move them.

I've also primed the PVCu arch formers (the top floor by sitting on the cill, leaning out, and not thinking about it too much) and, having failed to find a decent paint match at Homebase, have got a minor DIY chain to mix up some gloss to sort of match the window frames. Oh, they said, you could always go to Homebase because they can scan your frame and match it exactly. Oh, I said, I'm beyond caring, just mix up something like it...

You can watch the comedic results at http://www.slide.com/r/2vVXp-7p3T_oxw3_PE6M0d4-OStQz9qf?previous_view=mscd_embedded_url when I finally get around to painting them.

Multi-tasking 'til my brain hurts

2008-02-29T02:31:00.000-08:00

Welcome to February 29th! - remember, in these low inflationary times working the extra day represents a 0.45% (ish) pay cut in terms of pounds per hour. Which means, once every four years, it pays to charge by the day. Makes up for all those bank holidays I miss out on.

Back at the phone and computer, still making up salaries, but also:

lining up BT to dig up the road again to piss of the neighbours to get our phone line in
sourcing nice socket things to run data to the new TV
chasing information on whether we can run Delta 8 home automation (which I now know is Cat6, not Cat8) through Cat5 or Cat5e wallplates
learning how to sound convincing and knowledgeable regarding all of the above without having the faintest idea what I'm on about

Also suggested getting the arch formers painted on Saturday but the look on the good lady wife's face suggested she was spending too much time with the kids...

Trying to move things forward

2008-02-28T02:26:00.000-08:00

Just not sure whether, or how quickly, they will be moving forward.

Met the electrician yesterday to decide on all the lights and power points. Which we did, although I reserve the right to change my mind. But he needs me to have finished the studwork, which I thought I could within the day, but, like many jobs, finishing it is always a day away. I've more or less finished on the second floor, and have some of the key bits worked out on the first, but it'll still take at least a day to finish. I ended up saying he may as well hold off until early April but, in retrospect, I need him to be working whilst I've got consultancy work.

So, I'm now working (can't you tell) on some dubious salary pricings for, ultimately, an organisation who will remain nameless when I should be watching Gene Hunt in a vain attempt to free up Tuesday (maybe morning only?) when I'll try to finish off the studding before returning to work out, not that people with better qualifications than me get paid more than me but by how much.

Also looks like I'll have to find some time from nowhere to paint the arch formers as no local painter wants the job. The final window schedules have now been signed off and returned to HighSeal via Build Centre (caught Gavin the rep pushing it through the front door, so made him wait whilst I checked them).

And the finalised plans should be off to the underfloor heating people tomorrow. Took a short break from the computer to ink in the sunpipes (beginning to get concerned about what punching holes in the floor means for our acoustic insulation), so they should be in the post tomorrow after copying at the library.

And I need to return the call from the BT man who probably wants to dig up the road outside.

No idea when I'll do the plumbing (April??). Which probably means no dry lining before May. Plastering around the same time, decorating June, kitchen about the same time. In for August? Good God, I think I've just written a project plan...

Just an ordinary day in the life of a self-builder

2008-02-24T13:03:00.001-08:00

This morning spent £3600 on the last day of the Bathstore sale on two and half bathrooms, at least most of the shiny ceramic or chrome stuff, and have, this evening, written a cheque for £11,400 to Ivan as a final payment (admittedly, some of which is for our extension). So a mere £15k Sunday.

Since I last blogged I've more or less finished the studwork on the second floor, and hope to get the first floor (no cathedral ceiling or boxing for sunpipes to work around, so significantly easier) done on Wednesday. And the scaffolding's gone, except for Ivan's tower which will get in the way on the first floor. So I'm hunting for a tower of my own (current target is an eBay deathtrap for about £250).

Also, significant (to my eyes) cracks have appeared under the first floor lintel in the supporting wall up the middle of the house. Ivan's put this down to my studwork above being hard up under the lintel on the second floor transferring the weight of the roof to the lintel below rather than down the wall further along. (Translation: it's your fault, just write me the cheque).

He also commented that the Celcon blocks are quite brittle, part of increasing the insulation quality, hence the modern preference to dot & dab the plasterboard on. My inclination was to batten the walls myself, filling the gaps with more insulation, but I think I'll go back to getting some dryliners in.

I've also got some 'proper' suit-wearing work in the offing, so I need to line some trades up to keep the ball rolling in any case. We've got our sparkies, but they're not returning my calls, so I'm not sure when they'll be starting the first fix. I'm also trying to line up Weasel to sort out various things outside; sinking the rainwater harvesting tank and so forth. But he's slow to call back and when he does I'm not here. Dean next door is a plasterer, and there's a dryliner at number 49, so I may need to knock on some doors.

Maybe there's something in this health and safety thing

2008-02-17T23:05:00.000-08:00

Ivan has bequeathed me a scaffolding tower up the stairwell for getting materials, and me, on to the first and second floor. Only trouble is that it as much gets in the way as helps (e.g. the pallet of plasterboard which still sits outside), doesn't allow access right up to the highest points, but extends beyond the stairwell so actually prevents the stud walls going up, which will be my next task. I've also got it on a rather vague basis of "until I need it back" which could be a week, a month, or it may be sitting in the garden until the London Olympics are a distant memory. So I'm in the market for a replacement scaffolding tower.

In the meantime I've put a couple of thick scaffolding boards at the top, braced against pieces of wood nailed into the deck, to plasterboard the walls. Frankly, it scares me silly given it's about 60cm wide and 6m up.

Meanwhile, Ivan's job is now done with the roof on the single-storey living room. Not sure I'm entirely happy with the way the roof has been finished at the sticky-out ridge thing, but it's what happens when you take a muppet "architect"'s plans and modify them with tippex and biro, aided by red wine, late on a Saturday night. A couple of bits of wood painted to match the window frames and I'm sure it'll look fine...

Decisions, decisons....

2008-02-12T13:19:00.000-08:00

I suppose there should be a feeling of rounding the bend and starting the run back home but it feels more like floundering at the moment with a multitude of decisions to make, most of which impact on every other decision.

We've cleared with the planners the change of windows to oak, and have placed the order, partially on the grounds that it'll make the whole house lighter, but also because it matches the bamboo floor we're planning on using. The same floor that I've laid in the extention which I now realise scratches more readilly than a black bloke with bling. Hmmm. Thought we'd finally found the ideal flooring, but I think we'll have to rethink.

When I've finally finished the extention bathroom (this week, dear God, please) I can get on with putting in the stud walls, but that's all dependent on bathroom fittings, and placement of pipework depends on the sizes of towel rails, etc. Good lady wife is in charge of fixtures and fittings, but nothing's set in stone (or slate or corian or granite) yet.

Am at the point of changing underfloor heating supplier to Nu Heat, although it costs roughly the same as ThermalFloor who would supply & fit for a supply-only arrangement, but does mean that I don't have to put a screed over a timber floor which is just silly.

And I'm in the process of writing to the electrical contractors who were recommended through Buil Centre to appoint them. They've quoted under £6k for supply and fit, but there's so many bits to add on I'm sure we'll end up spending £8k or £9k, but I think it'll be the same with whoever and they are recommended.

Also at the point of sorting out the small local difficulty regarding the sewerage. Application to Anglian Water appears to have been accepted and, even though they charged £276 sewerage infrastructure charge back in the autumn, I'm now paying £192 for them to process the application. And you think your water bills are high...

Steady as she goes

2008-02-11T08:43:00.000-08:00

Even though I'm concentrating on the rather challenging job of boxing in all the pipes in my new bathroom in the current house in 15mm bamboo floorboards (seemed such a good idea several months ago), work trudges on at the new build. Somehow the builders came back on Saturday, even though I'd stolen the ladders to clean the windows here, and Reno's been there today to felt and batten the roof of the single storey living room.

My only concern (well, one of several dozen) is that the Roofblock seems to end mysteriously seven-eights of the way along the wall - not sure how Ivan's planning to finish it off. Given we're about six blocks over I think if I look back at the original plans the perimeter would have been entirely in Roofblock. It may be that I've put the downpipe too close to the wall to allow the Roofblock to turn the corner and he's had to bodge around me. Isn't the first time, but he's probably hoping it's the last...

Thank you D Shift

2008-02-06T11:22:00.001-08:00

One of the more interesting (or completely anal, depending on your point of view) aspects of building materials is that they tend to be stamped with the exact date and time of manufacture. So I know my 120 sheets of plasterboard was made on 13 January 2008, around half-past three and was "made with pride by D shift". So a big hand for them.

You may wonder why I have 120 sheets of plasterboard when we haven't first fixed anything. I'm kind of wondering it myself, too.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, get a decent amount of plasterboard inside and out of the way. Only trouble is that I've got the 1200mm by 2400mm boards which are almost impossible to shift. So far I've got 48 up to the first floor (took about four hours, almost all damaged in some marginal way, but, hey, it'll all be skimmed over in any case), but a complete pallet's sitting outside just where I'll want a skip when the scaffolding finally comes down .

Meanwhile, windows have gone a bit pear-shaped with the manufacturer not producing dark wood frames on the outside, white inside, so we may be changing to a lighter wood-effect PVCu.

And we've had a quote for the electrics which I'm trying to get my head around, but I think it all adds up to four figures rather than five. Given we've had no other recommendations for sparkies (they've been recommended by Build Centre) I think we'll probably go with them.

Other than that we're all trying to shift colds.

Is this really what I want to be doing on a Saturday night?

2008-02-02T12:58:00.000-08:00

The good lady wife is out for beers and curry and I'm here going through window plans (11th hour switch to white internal frames, which means that we can use the lighter bamboo flooring which is a good thing as the muppet quantity surveyor I've used has meant that I've ended up with about six square metres of the stuff more than I needed for the extension... oh, hold on, that was me) and trying to work out why I haven't seen any credit notes for the things I keep asking Build Centre to take back, like the Catnic lintels (that bloody QS again).

I having another beer and turning this computer off.